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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Second chance

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Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • #1096344 Reply
    Caitlyn
    Guest

    So it’s a bit of a complicated story, but two years ago I was a part of a conservation organization doing backcountry trail work. It’s a five month, government funded program and it was a relatively small crew. I had to leave the season about a month in because family issues were taking over my mind and heart and I couldn’t be out in the wilderness with no way to contact them for days. I left in a shitty way, in the early morning before anyone woke and I didn’t tell anyone I was going. I emailed my program manager to let him know after the fact. I’m wanting to go again now that those issues have been resolved and I feel I can focus on the program again. I want to email the program manager and ask him for a second chance, but it is a ways away before the next program starts and it’s an application process to get in so I could be rejected anyways. I just don’t know how to proceed. I want to get it off my chest and ask to be considered again but I don’t know if I should.

    #1096346 Reply
    Hazel
    Participant

    I’d just email the program manager, explain exactly what happened, say that you are now much better prepared, apologise sincerely for problems you may have caused re. short numbers in the team, etc etc, and ask for a second chance. The worst that can happen is that they’ll say no.If they do (and I hope they don’t) then ask them for recommendations of any other similar programmes where you can start anew. Good luck.

    #1096353 Reply
    Bittergaymark
    Guest

    I’d find a different program. The way you left was pretty inexcusable.

    I wouldn’t give you a second chance after that. Had you left in a better way —- maybe. But after that? Nope. Sorry.

    #1096355 Reply
    Tui
    Participant

    Agree with BGM, find another project if that’s the kind of thing you’re interested in. I’d have been pretty upset if I was one of the team left behind and I would have been worried you’d got lost in the woods or committed suicide – I hope you had left them a good note. Anyone would understand why you needed to leave, but the way you left was unprofessional and gave them no time to arrange replacement for you. No harm in emailing the program manager to apologise and ask, but you may not get a response.

    The fact you’re overthinking this so much may be a sign that you still have work to do on managing things in life.

    #1096372 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yeah, from a career POV, that was unacceptable. You should never leave a job like that unless you’re being abused, it’s not being dealt with by those who have an obligation to do so, AND you don’t care about burning bridges in your field. Because it’s not just the boss, it’s now every single person in that program who knows you bailed on them, and will not put in a good word for you in the future, at best.

    You can certainly try what Hazel advised, and it is possible the program manager would give you another shot, depending on how desperate they are. But in general I’d be wary of a workplace that would take someone back who quit with no notice or explanation. It’s probably dysfunctional.

    This doesn’t have to be the end of the world for you, but you can never, ever do that again. If you’re having personal problems that you have to attend to, then tell your boss you are having a personal emergency and need some time to deal with it. Take personal day(s). Take PTO. If a boss can’t or won’t let you take some time to deal with your issues, then you can make a responsible decision about how to handle that.

    And look, I’m not saying you OWE your employer this or that. You need to advocate for your own best interests, and part of that is to act professionally. You have decades of needing to work for money ahead of you, so you need to not fuck it up for yourself.

    #1096375 Reply
    Bittergaymark
    Guest

    I mean — you just up and vanished in the wilderness. No note. Or explanation. Talk ablut leaving everybody in the lurch. And God only knows when they even had internet access to read your explanation email. Somehow, I suspect it took you a good long time to send that email as well…

    🤷🏻‍♂️

    NEWSFLASH: You scorched that bridge to the ground.

    #1096419 Reply
    PasssingBy
    Guest

    Can’t hurt to ask, but you should realize that it’s very unlikely that they’d want to take you back.

    I’d suggest asking yourself why you left the way you did.
    I’m sure that the people in the program would have been really concerned that someone was missing.
    Sure, telling them that you were leaving might have been a hard conversation, but leaving without even so much as a note? That’s cruel.
    Can you honestly say that if you were having problems, you wouldn’t do it the same way again?

    #1096420 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    It doesn’t sound like you have enough history with the organization for them to to consider this a (extremely serious) blip in an otherwise strong showing.

    The organization is going to consider you a high risk hire. You totally screwed them over and I expect that they have a “do not rehire” next to your name.

    They aren’t obligated to give you a second chance; they have to meet their own needs.

    Look for another org to support and do not use this one as a reference.

    #1096421 Reply
    Brise
    Guest

    Sure, you can at least apologise but don’t expect a second chance. There is no way you can get it. I will tell you what they will answer: « thanks for your message, it is good to get some news from you and we are glad you feel better. Sure, you may try again at the next application process. » and they won’t take you, they will give the chance rightfully to a new candidate. Take the lesson and try somewhere else. And don’t ask them where else you could apply. They will blacklist you. Just send an apolog, give it a humble try and get ready to apply somewhere else.

    #1096422 Reply
    Brise
    Guest

    Just realised this was 2 years ago! Forget it and apply elsewhere.

    #1096424 Reply
    Prognosti-gator
    Participant

    You have two potential chances:

    1) Everyone there has moved on to other jobs, so nobody who is left knows who you are / remembers you.

    2) They are so hard-up for people, that they’re willing to gamble on you making it even part-way through the program before flaking out vs knowing 100% that the spot will be empty otherwise.

    Otherwise, I don’t see how they’d take you back. Short of “OMG my child/spouse/sibling/parent was just hospitalized and is in serious condition” there isn’t really a good excuse for the disappearing act you pulled.

    Had you talked to them first about needing to go because of family issues, there’s a chance they could have been accommodating, but to just vanish in middle of the night isn’t going to make them want to count on you ever again. You’ll need to look elsewhere.

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