Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Should I break our hearts?

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  • #857826 Reply
    avatarBianca
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    It all started when he liked an old picture of mine on Facebook. We already knew each other, but hadn’t spoken so much until one night when he messaged me. Gradually, we started talking everyday, we started meeting and kissing and we soon became friends with benefits but only for a little time. Then we got into a relationship and things escalated quickly. I entered this relationship with the idea that I wouldn’t fall for him, as there are so many differences between us and also because I do not actually like him as a person, especially when we are in a group of people. I love how he makes me feel, I could spend every single day alone with him, but when we are in groups or with someone else I always realize how many things I hate about him. He treats me greatly and he always shows how muuch he cares about me and our relationship. We live in different cities now because I got into college so I had to move. When I can’t go home(our mutual city) he takes the bus and gets to me in 2 hours. He always makes me smile when he calls me, even after my worst days. He is sweet, protective and he accepts me as I am. And I know I will definitely miss him. So why do I want to end all of this? It’s all about the differences between us. He doesn’t like any of my friends, he considers many of my habits weird(for example buying clother from thrift stores; he thinks this is embarrassing and doesn’t want people to find out), but also accepts me as I am. I often feel uncomfortable when he cannot understand why I feel anxious or sad. I hate the fact that he judges everyone and hates so many people, especially people that I actually like. He is also a gossiper and he talks nasty about his ex girlfriends. I hate that he is a hater, he is arrogant, he is a flexer and his views on life are not at all like mine. We are both funny and outgoing, but I have a deeper soul, I even write poetry sometimes, which he thinks it’s weird. He makes me feel cringe-worthy and ashamed sometimes but he doesn’t do it on purpose. We haven’t been together for long but he has already said those three words that I hadn’t heard from any boy before. He had made it clear that this is the best relationship he has had so far, which I also feel for myself somehow, but I cannot get over all of these different views and habits and taste. I see no evolution in this relationship and I actually feel as if it will transform me into someone like him. I want to grow as a person, but I don’t think I can while being with someone like him. He won’t change. I’m 100% sure. I don’t know what to do. A part of me knows that I will miss him like crazy, but the other part of me tells me to end it before it becomes more serious. I would like some advice, especially because I don’t have that much of experience with romantic relationship, since I’ve only had one before this one. I’m really confused.

    • This topic was modified 1 week, 2 days ago by Dear WendyDear Wendy.
    #857828 Reply
    avatarPeggy
    Guest

    Hi Bianca -end it. You two are not compatible and you do not even like him. What you like is having a boyfriend and knowing someone “loves” you,but he does not seem to fully accept you and that is not love. You don’t accept how he is either,so break out with him.

    #857829 Reply
    avatarPeggy
    Guest

    Break UP,I meant.

    #857883 Reply
    avatardinoceros
    Member

    I think an important life lesson is that sometimes you have to make decisions that might not feel great at the time, but are the best thing for you. You can’t eat dessert all the time; sometimes you have to eat vegetables. You know that he’s not right for you, so just break up and accept that you may miss him for a while. It’ll be fine in the end.

    #857892 Reply

    You clearly want to breakup with him.

    So do it.

    Yeah, you will probably miss him. Tough decisions are often hand in hand with mixed emotions. You can miss him and appreciate him and still know he’s not right for you.

    I do want to say that I don’t necessarily believe differences can’t work out in a relationship. I think often it works out pretty well. And people can and do change. Especially around your age.

    #857908 Reply
    CurlyQueCurlyQue
    Participant

    You obviously think you’re better than him so you should break up. Why even enter a relationship wish someone you have no intention to “fall” for? Also also you’re not a deeper person because you write poetry, he also will 100% change (i don’t know how) as he’s obviously very young and everyone changes as they age.

    Regardless you should break up. He loves you and you don’t even like him and constantly judge him. Break up.

    #857909 Reply

    He kind of sounds like an ass, to be honest.

    #857942 Reply
    bittergaymarkBittergaymark
    Guest

    Eh, they both do…

    #858047 Reply
    avatarJlk875
    Guest

    This whole post is a dumpster fire. You are dating a guy you don’t even like who doesn’t really like you (or accept you, you can’t say he accepts you and then turn around and say he thinks you are weird for thrifting) You don’t even live near each other and you referred to “I love you” as “those 3 words” you have to be pretty young. This dude isn’t the one. You’re wasting your time and his. Break up.

    #858048 Reply
    avatarJlk875
    Guest

    This whole post is a dumpster fire. You are dating a guy you don’t even like who doesn’t really like you (or accept you, you can’t say he accepts you and then turn around and say he thinks you are weird for thrifting) You don’t even live near each other and you referred to “I love you” as “those 3 words” you have to be pretty young. This dude isn’t the one. You’re wasting your time and his. Break up.

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