“Should I Ask if He Wants a Date or Just Move On?”
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From a LW:
“I 23F have been talking with this guy 24M for almost a year and a half. We first met in Portugal and really hit it off on my last night there and at the end of the night we hooked up. I thought we got on so well I asked his Snapchat and we have been talking ever since. Recently I feel like I might be catching feelings for him though. For context our conversations have led into topics of a sexual nature but nothing concrete and nothing about being in a relationship.I haven’t really been dating or seeing anyone in this period. He lives in a different country and we have tried to meet up in the past when I was visiting there but our timings did not line up. I find myself really wanting to go see him for an actual date but I feel like he either doesn’t want to or he just wants a hook up. Should I ask him or try to move on ?”
What would dating this guy in another country look like?
Regardless, what’s the worst that could happen if you ask?
How far is Portugal – a one hour plane ride, 6 hour plane ride, 14 hour plane ride?
Do you think this guy is interested in a LDR? Most people aren’t. He may just be happy sexting and flirting. I mean, you guys barely know one another and it’s going to be how long before you see one another in person?
It just sounds like a lot of work for little return.
This does not sound like a good setup for dating. Not only the long distance, but the fact that you have tried to meet up for hangouts when in his country and it hasn’t worked out. That’s not a great sign. In my experience if a guy in another state or country is keen to hang out or hook up with you, he’s going to make it happen, ESPECIALLY if you are the one going to his area. He’ll come to yours if he’s interested. I would move on and start seeing other guys. This has amounted to one single hookup and some flirty chat over 1.5 years. That’s not to say that if you’re going to be in his country again you can’t suggest meeting for dinner, but it does mean your expectations should be non-existent.
I am with Kate. He isn’t into it.
Time to move on to a local guy who makes time and shows interest in you…quickly.
Good luck!
I am with Kate. He isn’t into it.
Time to move on to a local guy who makes time and shows interest in you…quickly.
Good luck!
That feeling that he doesn’t want to and just wants a hook up is your intuition and it will save you lots of time in the future because there is zero mistaking when a person is into you for real.
“there is zero mistaking when a person is into you for real”
Me in my 20s would beg to differ 😛
When someone likes you, they don’t treat you as an option. You are their only clear choice and it’s very apparent. For me, night and day VS what I’d take as accept from men in my twenties. Thank god for therapy.
