“Should I Call Out My Ex?”

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    April 6, 2023 at 8:48 am #1119515

    From a LW:

    “I was involved with Louise for approximately nine months. We live in military dorms and work in the same place. It was very ill-defined, as I was just out of a 4-year long relationship and wasn’t ready to jump back into another serious thing two months on, although I know Louise was praying for that. Ultimately, there was a messy split when I had a one-nigh-stand with someone else and Louise then admitted to some serious feelings after lying about them for months. She asked for us to not sleep with anyone else, and I agreed as I realized I felt similarly. But a month later, Louise slept with someone else in our dorm, left me for him, and blew hot and cold on me for two months just to really twist the knife. I tried patching it up and seeing if we could both start with a clean slate but got strung along while she was off-and-on with this other person. Once I figured that out, I cut communication.

    Obviously, I was devastated, confused and bitter for a long while, but eventually I got largely past this and have dated a few people since without it going anywhere, though this is mainly due to me not being that invested in them. Unsurprisingly she was dumped by the other guy the moment she wasn’t convenient for him anymore, the same thing happened a couple months later with another guy in the dorm, and she’s now sleeping with yet another one, I imagine yet again hoping it’ll turn into something. For context, she was home-schooled, has never been in a serious relationship and has repeated this cycle several times in the past probably 10+ years. When we were dating, her actions and words were often wildly different, she rarely gave a straight or honest answer about feelings and she would normally do something immature or provocative to elicit a reaction, or use a mutual friend to speak to me instead of texting me herself – she’s nearly 26…

    Despite this, she shoots me little looks every time we’re in the same room, and then she looks away if I catch her. I’m certain I’m not seeing things; it’s every time and it’s been even more obvious, and problematic, if I’m with a date. She also looks over a lot when she’s with fling number whatever – I’m guessing to gauge my reaction, but again, I just can’t get a bead on her and it’s throwing me off.

    It’s been 18 months since we split, we both have been with people since, and she currently has someone on the go, so it surely can’t be that she misses me / is interested given all that time that’s passed, and her pretty awful behavior? I was the longest lasting of her flings, and in hindsight things were basically a relationship in all but name, but we don’t speak and despite all these weird sheep eyes, she’s still openly sleeping with another person and hasn’t made any effort to actually reach out.

    Basically, what do you think is going on? I’m not some lovesick teenager but I’m baffled – what’s she’s thinking, or angling for? Crucially, do I just continue ignoring or call it out?

    Any help or direction is a huge help”

    April 6, 2023 at 3:48 pm #1119522

    Call her out for what? I’m confused. Maybe she’s looking at you because you keep looking at her and she’s creeped out.

    Your encounters were ages ago and neither of you behaved well. Leave her alone as you sound obsessive.

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    April 6, 2023 at 5:16 pm #1119528

    I think what’s going on is that you’re still bitter and obsessed.

    April 6, 2023 at 7:09 pm #1119531

    Yeah, Copa said it.

    April 6, 2023 at 7:10 pm #1119532

    Copa has it.

    April 7, 2023 at 1:06 pm #1119554

    I know when someone is looking at me, and so does she,(which is why she’s keeping a wary eye on you) just stop looking at her and this whole thing goes away. It sounds like you despise her so leave her alone.

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