Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

“Should I Contact Him or Should He Reach Out First?”

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Viewing 6 posts - 13 through 18 (of 18 total)
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  • #1009221 Reply
    avatarBittergaymark
    Guest

    Eh, she is a mess —- but he is a cad for wanting to date her? Some people should really just stay fucking single, I guess.

    #1009224 Reply
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    I know you wanted your letter to be a “his take” column but I haven’t done one of those in years, partly because it turns out men aren’t very complicated, and college boys are especially not very complicated. LW, this guy wants to have sex and he wants to not have to work very hard to get it. For whatever reason, he thought you might be someone who’d have sex with him with minimal effort on his part – and, seriously, chilling a bottle of wine is the definition of minimal effort. Everything he said or did was a reflection of this desire and nothing more. You need to let this one go, get some therapy, and do not attempt to date anyone or even have a FWB or whatever until you are no longer scared of relationships. Setting out to strictly date casually when you are emotionally wounded and not really in the place to make your desires and your boundaries very clear is a recipe for disaster.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by avatarDear Wendy.
    #1009227 Reply
    avatarKarebear1813
    Participant

    I find myself very confused about what I read. My initial reaction to this letter is that LW wanted to be FWB with this guy but here it is 4/5 months later and they haven’t hooked up. This guy thought LW would be putting out for sex or this relationship would become more than FWB. He doesnt sound all that great but it sounds like LW has been leading this guy on and now he is done trying.

    LW, why don’t you just move on from him. He is no longer interested in you.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by avatarKarebear1813.
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by avatarKarebear1813.
    #1009231 Reply
    avatarKarebear1813
    Participant

    Also this whole ” I don’t want a serious relationship” to “I really did want one” because you are scared to be abused again is REAL but its confusing to people and will affect any/all future relationships unless you get therapy for it. Also, another fact, people who don’t address the type of negative person they attract will continue to attract those people until they learn what that negative is so to avoid. So, yes, you need counseling.

    #1009234 Reply
    avatarBittergaymark
    Guest

    I think he took her at face value when she said she was only looking for friends with benefits…. But now… everybody is taking him to task for it. I mean if somebody tells me that want to be friends with benefits but then after five months there still have been NO benefits… Eh, I’d lose interest, too.

    #1009235 Reply
    avatarBittergaymark
    Guest

    Also, she seems to making only minimal efforts at even being friends. LW, I think you should see a therapist for a few sessions. I think you need to sort out what it is you really want right now.

    After reading your letter, I truly have no idea.

    You understandably have issues from previous relationships that need to be sorted out before you move forward to the next.

Viewing 6 posts - 13 through 18 (of 18 total)
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