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Dear Wendy

Should I destroy someone's life because they did me wrong?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Should I destroy someone's life because they did me wrong?

This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by avatar snoopy 8 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #752682 Reply
    Jessie Dean

    There is this guy from my class (section) who is an asshole with everyone. I didn’t care much until now. It turns out a few months ago he broke into my fb account and saw all my chats, photos etc. He has been showing other people my chats and other stuff which is I believe illegal. I have been seeing his group of friends laugh at me but I didn’t even know why. Thing is he is already on probation, should I report him and get him kicked out? I personally don’t want to because everyone makes mistakes. I don’t really want to get anyone in trouble. However, he went too far. All my friends tell me to report him. What do I do?

    #752685 Reply

    How did he break into your Facebook account? Why is he on probation and what does Facebook have to do with probation?

    Reporting someone for inappropriate conduct isn’t exactly destroying their life. It is a way to hold them accountable for their actions.

    #752688 Reply

    I think LW means academic or disciplinary related probation.

    Reporting his actions to the school is not destroying his life, at all. As @skyblossom said, it’s holding him accountable for his actions.

    It’s not your fault he’s on probation, nor is it your responsibility to protect him from the trouble he’s gotten himself into.

    #752703 Reply

    Oh come on. Breaking into someone’s fb account is not a mistake. You should report him, how is this even a question?

    #752717 Reply

    Of course you should report it.

    You’re not messing up this guy’s life, he is. He’s not stupid, he’s knows it’s wrong to break into someone’s Facebook account. He knows there are consequences for his actions, since he’s on probation. He still CHOSE to get into your account, and let everybody know about it.

    His decision. His consequences. Report it.

    #752722 Reply

    Is every millenial THIS meek? Between this and the woe is us if we dare to abandon our fucked ip needy and pathetic roommate — i now somehow have even less faith in the future of humanity… Seriously? WTF?!

    #752726 Reply

    From reading posts here, it seems like a lot of young people (maybe getting into Gen Z here, more so than millennials) have, or believe they have, social anxiety or GAD, which limits their ability to say no or set boundaries or stand up for themselves.

    Honestly, I don’t feel like there’s enough info here to know the right thing to do. I’m not sure if this guy did anything *illegal* by going into your Facebook (do kids even still use Facebook? How did he access your account? How and why did he target you? What’s in your chats and photos that’s so juicy?)

    Are you in High School or college? Is there a bullying policy that this would fall under? I think before you do anything, you may want to talk to a school advisor or counselor to find out of what this guy did actually violates any policy and if they would take disciplinary action for something like this. I mean, it seems likely, but you don’t want to report this and have everyone shrug and say, eh, shoulda protected your password, nothing we can do, better luck next time.

    But yeah, if he did something punishable, report him and don’t worry about the consequences- that’s on him.

    #752727 Reply

    In situations like these, I turn to a quote from the Taylor Swift sexual harassment trial.When asked how she felt about ‘ruining’ the DJ’s life, she said:
    “I am not responsible for the unfortunately events in a someone’s life that are a product of their decisions, not mine.”

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