Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Should I feel guilty about leaving?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Should I feel guilty about leaving?

This topic contains 20 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar dinoceros 2 weeks, 3 days ago.

Viewing 9 posts - 13 through 21 (of 21 total)
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  • #814644 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    You really need to prioritize school so you should go ahead and go. I know it’s hard on your brother but it will be even harder on your life if you don’t go to school. Yes it is stressful and yes he may be lost and lonely for a while but that will happen whether you are there or not. He has to learn to make friends. This experience will make him stronger over the long term.

    His other option would be to find a job and a place to live in the town you left. He might have to have a roommate or two but it would probably be something he could do. He has the choice of being dependent on your parents but without all the people back in the old hometown or he can move back to the old hometown and make his way there by supporting himself. Right now he is choosing to have your parents support him. That’s fine but it is a choice he has made and you shouldn’t feel guilty over his choice. Your other brother made a different choice. Each choice will have benefits and deficits. Your older brother gets to be independent and have a place of his own but he doesn’t have the financial support of your parents. Your other brother has the financial support but at the expense of being uprooted.

    You shouldn’t feel guilty. None of this was your decision. Your responsibility at this point in time is to make decisions that put you on a solid footing for the rest of your life. That means go to school.

    #814645 Reply
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    Oracle

    This move will make your brother stronger in the long run. He will be forced to adapt and he will learn that he can do so. He can move back to the city he wants by getting a job and saving money and then getting a new job. You act as if this is the worse thing that can happen in life. It’s not. Your brother needs to stop acting like a whimp. And you need to go stay in the dorm.

    #814650 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    It’s been two days. He’ll be fine.

    #814655 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Uh… telling your younger brother that you feel abandoned by him going off to college strikes me as rather dramatic. At any rate — go. Just Go. To college.

    #814662 Reply
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    Jay

    I’m his younger sister haha. and yea I guess but he was drunk and he wasn’t really saying abandoned. that was poor choice of words on my part tbh. but other than that one night he’s been as optimistic as possible. I guess it’s me that feels bad for him because I know if positions were switched I would feel lonely too. but yeah you’re right. I knew I was going to go to college all along I just wanted to hear others opinions too. Thanks!

    #814663 Reply
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    Jay

    thanks for the advice. I know it’s not the worst thing ever haha. we’ve dealt with a lot as a family this past year especially. deaths in family, cancer, etc and this move was like the last thing we needed honestly. He isn’t really being a wimp. he’s being really optimistic, which makes me happy. I’m very empathetic and often feel too much for others so I guess it’s more me than him. thank you!

    #814664 Reply
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    Jay

    Thank you so much for your advice! It put my mind to ease. I know it will all work out in the end.

    #814665 Reply
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    Jay

    Thank you so much! It meant a lot

    #814668 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    Even if you weren’t in college, you’re all eventually going to move out, I assume. A lot of people enjoy living with their families as kids, but that isn’t going to last forever. Your brother is just experiencing a normal part of life. Doesn’t mean it isn’t stressful, but maybe it’ll help give him some independence.

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