Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Should I forgive him and take him back?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Should I forgive him and take him back?

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  • #890541 Reply
    avatarGloria1
    Guest

    I’m unsure what to do in this situation. I have been with my partner for about 9 months. He had always been in contact with a girl on a friendship basis, they went on one date but apparently she just wanted to be friends I was told by him. They message quite often but over the last few months things seemed to be getting flirty and he told me he likes her. I told him “ I want you to stop messaging her and block her number” he did this but I found out recently he’s been trying to message her on another platform, say he thinks of her a lot and isn’t fully happy in the relationship with me. What do I do?

    #890547 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    If you have self-respect, you dump him. Today. You should have done that the minute he told you he likes her. Definitely once you knew he wasn’t happy in your relationship.

    As you found out, you can’t stop your partner from liking someone else by forbidding him to talk to her.

    #890553 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Nope, you should move on.

    #890560 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    He texted someone else that “he thinks of her a lot and isn’t fully happy in the relationship with me” — is that right?

    Dump him. Don’t wait two more seconds.

    #890567 Reply
    avatarOracle
    Guest

    There are a lot of guys out there. There are ones that will actually like you. This one does not. Dump him.

    #899297 Reply
    avatarStefanny
    Guest

    First, I think you should ask you if you love yourself, because you don’t need someone who thinks about another person. You will be uneasy, distrustful, thoughtful and that will not be healthy for you.

    If you had tried to talk with him about your situation and you see him disinterested in fixing your relationship, the best advice I can give you is break up with him and you could start a new life.

    Start a new life is very good, you could make your dreams, keep your goals, you could have more time for yourself. The most important is you will be more strong in the future.

    #899308 Reply
    avatarNelson
    Guest

    If you really love him, I think you should fight for your relationship. First, you should talk again with him and talk about all the platforms. Besides you could do the same with another man, when he texts her you should text to some friend so that he has the same feeling.

    Finally, why don’t you increase your social activity with your friends?, maybe it could work to know someone or he pays more attention to you.

    #899403 Reply
    avatarKate B.
    Guest

    So, you’re encouraging OP to play grade-school games? This is not what independent, strong, grown-up women do. They move on and find someone who really wants to be in a relationship with them. OP, dump the guy and find someone else who doesn’t think about other people.

    #899426 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    You should not fight for a guy who is actively pursuing someone else while he’s supposed to be in a relationship with you. You know he has a thing for her, you know he tells her he’s not happy with you.

    It’s time to move on and date men who want to be with you.

    #899574 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Participant

    I just had to look at the subject line of this and knew that the answer was “no.” But honestly, it doesn’t even sound like he wants to be “back”

    #899752 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    He’s all but dumped you. You’ll feel much better if you dump him before he inevitably dumps you for this other girl. Definitely do not fight for him. He’s proven that you shouldn’t want him Fighting for him will end up boosting his ego, destroying yours. and prolonging your unhappiness. It doesn’t matter if you love him, you don’t like him and this relationship is over. Playing the game of chasing his contact with this woman through multiple platforms and accounts is a loser’s game. He can get burner phones and new accounts faster than you can find them.

    #901050 Reply
    avatardinoceros
    Participant

    Why would you want to date someone who likes someone else? Trying to force them to stop talking to the person doesn’t change the fact that he likes them. And he clearly is planning to just talk to her anyway. Find someone who likes you and only you.

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