Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Should I ghost her, or should I try again?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Should I ghost her, or should I try again?

This topic contains 85 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by avatar PDX816 2 days, 19 hours ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 49 through 60 (of 86 total)
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  • #837431 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    One thing that I think no one has mentioned is that when someone moves across country to the same little off the beaten path town as someone they haven’t talked to in five years, not even on Facebook, there is something not right in their life. The fact that she showed up was a red flag that something was wrong. For whatever reason something hasn’t been going right in her life and she decided that showing up in your town would fix whatever was wrong. So she shows up and the two of you get together and everything goes great for a few weeks. But, she isn’t finding whatever it is she expected. Whatever fix she thought she would get out of moving didn’t happen. So she wasn’t any happier after moving than she was before moving. Now she’s looking for that fix with other guys. The problem is that whatever the problem is she needs to fix it before dating. A new location and lots of guys isn’t going to bring the happiness she’s chasing. She needs to look deep inside and figure out what her problem is and then address it. She almost certainly needs therapy.

    I don’t think she set out to hurt you. She thought you were the solution to her problem and she probably thought the two of you would be very happy together. It’s a red flag when someone moves the way she did. It indicates problems in her life. Also having a relationship develop so rapidly is often another red flag. Usually something that heats up so rapidly burns out within months. Showing up in your town the way she did was a huge indication that she wasn’t emotionally ready for a relationship.

    She’s probably been unhappy for a while and thought about when she was happy and came up with cuddling with you years ago. If she kept thinking about that a fantasy builds in her mind about you and her and since she hasn’t been around you for years that fantasy she builds isn’t about the real you. Her fantasy is about someone who never existed. In the fantasy you would do exactly all the right things but in real life you can’t possibly know what all the right things are. I think that when someone builds a fantasy in their mind the reality almost never works because what they expected was never based on anything real, or nothing that’s been real for years. This was doomed before she arrived.

    • This reply was modified 5 days, 12 hours ago by Skyblossom Skyblossom.
    #837432 Reply

    If you genuinely want to be a better person, you NEED to dispense this idea that women are some kind of collective hive mind who have secrets to be unlocked (and therefore controlled). There are all kinds of women. Some of the women are, in fact, exactly as described in these “redpill” videos – looking to find men, mess with them, make them catch feelings and then take a crap on them. But they are so rare they aren’t even worth your consideration.

    Any time you interact with a woman, and you think you know how a woman thinks or what she’s doing, stop that train of thought in its tracks. In reality, you don’t know, and you won’t know until you start treating the woman in front of you with the respect that she deserves.

    #837435 Reply
    avatar
    anonymousse
    Member

    We don’t know she moved there for him.

    I moved to a small city in Oregon once. Shortly afterwards three male high school friends moved there separately, too. From a tiny town in rural VT. My graduating class was 60 people. None of them moved there for me. None of them even moved there for work.

    #837436 Reply
    avatar
    Miss MJ

    Why are we giving this Red Pill MRA the validation he obviously craves? This guy isn’t some sad sack who got dumped; he’s a fucking troll who is trying to get Teh Womenz/Libs all worked up to…I dunno, make a point or something?? If this asshole hit on you in a bar, you’d ignore him and walk away. We should do that now.

    #837438 Reply

    Why am I addressing him still?

    There’s a chance, even if it’s slight, that maybe it’s not too late for this guy. It’s early enough that maybe the cancer hasn’t spread too far.

    I certainly do not expect any women here to indulge this guy any further. But us dudes gotta talk this dude down. And if it comes to it, take that nonsense down a few pegs. The redpillers have basically taken over youtube and facebook. I don’t want them thinking that ideology is even remotely acceptable here.

    It’s rare to find a red-piller so far from their youtube/twitter/4chan home. They might be willing to take in ideas outside of that sick ideology if they are finding themselves in other corners of the internet still.

    Soon though, left untreated, this guy will be complaining about “Stacey’s” with other red-pillers over on 4chan or Twitter or wherever they hang out these days, and digging the hole for themselves greater and greater. It only gets worse for him here on out.

    #837443 Reply
    avatar
    Jay

    Well looks like I got ghosted from replying.

    #837445 Reply
    avatar
    Jay

    Just wanted to say thanks for not giving up hope on me. She continues to persist in trying to get in touch with me, even though my lack of communication should have turned her off by now. It appears she has something to say, but I don’t know if I even want to hear it. I mean honestly people, I cannot deal with it.
    I am sorry if I insulted anyone here. That was not my intention. The only reason I am replying is bc a few ppl commented and said nice things, others mean, but overall I want to say…
    You were right. It was a cry for help. I truly want to better understand myself and my reactions to things. Many of you feel it was not a big deal she wanted to gtk my roomate. Many think I am weak and shallow for believing this was wrong. I know I came off harsh and abrasive, but honestly, I am not a red piller, I was kind of thinking it for a second, but honestly, that’s just not me.
    Her reaching out to me continually tells me her plan failed and she just wants to come back to Plan B.
    I wanted to share some news. Last night I contacted a girl I hadn’t talked to for a while, and she reciprocated instantly and positively. I liked her but she had some issues, and I know it won’t be easy, but I really like her. I’m just tired of being alone. I wish it could be easy, but that’s life right.

    #837454 Reply
    avatar
    JD
    Member

    Really think some counseling is in order before you jump down this rabbit hole again. And no one was mean to you, they simply responded to your sometimes truly appalling comments.

    • This reply was modified 5 days, 2 hours ago by avatar JD.
    #837457 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Nobody blocked you that I know of.

    This red pill shit is truly a cancer. You’ll be miserable and alone your whole life if you buy into it. And angry. These men KILL PEOPLE. We do not tolerate that ideology on here. Just don’t go there, Jay. I was reading more about it last night and it made me sick. Don’t join those guys.

    #837459 Reply
    avatar
    JD
    Member

    I had to google red pill last night and just the titles of the threads were enough that i wouldn’t click.

    #837460 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yeah, no, I read an article *about it*, not the actual forums. The founder of the subreddit is a republican NH house member who thinks middle aged men should be able to have sex with teen girls. He was outed for being the founder and had to resign from being a goddamn lawmaker. I can’t.

    #837461 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster
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