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Should I live in SF? Is this a good career and dating move?

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This topic contains 14 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Fyodor 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #845232 Reply

    I recently started a job for a large tech company doing UX Design. My office is located in San Jose but my team and I are work remotely throughout the U.S. and Canada so none of us are ever required to go into the office. I currently live in L.A. and am ready to move since I am not happy here. All of my family is on the other end of the country so I am the only one out here. I luckily have a few friends in SF which is why I am considering that to be my next move. I know career-wise, I would learn a lot from all the people and different networking events. If I make the move to the Bay Area, I don’t plan on being there for more than a year. I would just like to say I lived there once in my life.

    I know dating is difficult everywhere but as an Indian woman in my early 30s, I know I’ll have more options in SF.

    The only thing holding me back from moving is the cost of rent. We all know SF is expensive. I do have a typical tech salary but it doesn’t make me feel any better about paying nearly $4000 for a 1-br apartment. I would consider a roommate, if I didn’t work from home everyday. I only plan to go into the office maybe once a month when all team members are there. I would consider getting a studio but need the space to set up a home office. I’ve found a few options for apartments within my budget but feeling scared about making this move. I’m just not sure that its a good idea, even for just a year.

    Other people have suggested living a nomad life where I go from apartment to apartment in different cities, but I don’t think this would do much for my career or dating since I won’t have 1 actual place I can call home.

    Any advice or support is greatly appreciated!

    #845244 Reply

    Sounds like you want a change in life and just need that push to do it. I would just go with the move, better try it than not and than regret not trying it at all. 4K for a 1 bedroom apartment is crazy expensive, some people don’t even make that a pay a month. if you can afford that plus all orher expenses? go for it.

    The roommate idea is good to help save some cash, but i like my privacy and calling one place home is huge, jumping from apartment to apartment is stressful and it will wear you down. Good luck with the move if you decide, also dating is ehh, plenty of apps for simple dates to one night stands.

    #845261 Reply

    If you want to move there, go ahead and do it. I have moved very frequently, and lived in nine different places in the last six years- and I just can’t even imagine moving to a new place with the mindset that it’d be only a year.

    Where do you picture yourself being next year?

    #845263 Reply

    Go for it, if the rent wouldn’t be too much of a strain on your budget. You’re young, this is the time to try new things.

    But that rent. I mean, I own a 3-bedroom condo in a close suburb of a major city, and the mortgage + taxes + HOA fees + utilities is under 2K. I knew housing was expensive in CA, but holy gad, that’s insane.

    I don’t know much about SF, but is that for an apartment right in the heart of the city? If so, could you go a little further out? Since you don’t have to go into the city to work, you’d just be going in for meeting up with friends or shopping or entertainment. Do you have a car? Is there decent public transportation?

    #845397 Reply
    Lady Lake

    I live pretty close to SF and regularly visit. I would not live in SF. It’s crazy expensive, no parking and everyone is packed in. If you wanted to live comfortably in SF you will have to make an average of $110,000 annually. That is just one person. There are a lot of extra expenses too. Cost of parking is about $30 per day and that is if your lucky to find parking. The taxes are high too at, 8.50%. So if you want to live there make sure you have a very well padded wallet.

    I would suggest living in Sacramento. A single room apartment is about $900 average, and the cost of living is much lower. The best part is it’s just across the Bay, so you can visit SF anytime.

    If you seriously still want to live in SF, I suggest saving up big time and maybe talking to a financial consultant.

    #845405 Reply

    Just want to comment on the dating part of this. Are you mostly looking for casual dating? Because if you move somewhere you wouldn’t consider staying permanently AND your goal is to have better dating options, then it’s not super compatible with finding a relationship. You either have to find someone who wants to move, be willing to stay, or be willing to give it up/go long-distance permanently.

    Not saying that your dating life should dictate this, but you mentioned it as one of a few reasons to go there, so it stood out to me. I think otherwise, it all comes down to whether you have the money to stay there for a year. If you feel like it’s THAT worth it to your career and it’s not a huge financial burden, then might be a cool thing to do.

    #845407 Reply

    It’s crazy to think the rent you’re considering is around $48,000/year!

    #846421 Reply
    The OtherOther Me

    You can actually get an apartment for less than $4000 a month in San Jose. I was just there looking at apartments and found many in the $2500-$3000 range. Still not cheap, but less than $4000 a month. Also do not take the advice to move to Sacramento, because it is not “just across the bay.” It is 80 miles away. (Unless you actually want to live in Sacramento.) Also, the previous commentor is right that living in the actual city of San Francisco can be quite difficult in terms of parking and traffic, so you just have to decide if you want to live in Silicon Valley, the East bay or the city, and do your research accordingly about what each involves.

    #846464 Reply

    @essie yes SF really is that expensive. And square milewise, it’s a small city that’s very dense, so it’s all kind of “the center”, prices don’t really very when you go out, because there’s no where to go out.

    That said, the Bay Area is wonderful. San Francisco is wonderful. You are young, you are mobile, if you can afford it – why not try it for a year? Sounds like professionally you have the flexibility to move if it doesn’t work out or you don’t like it.

    Personally, I wouldn’t want to live in San Jose, it’s not that much cheaper and I don’t really like Silicon Valley. If you’re going to pay that amount of money and live in that part of the state (and you can afford it) just go for it. Or consider the east bay. Still very expensive, but relatively speaking it’s cheaper, and you can much more easily get into the city if you want.

    #846468 Reply

    Yeah, there are a lot of great things about Sacramento – it’s a pretty cool little city a lot of people love – but if you want to live in the Bay Area/Silicon Valley, it’s not anywhere close in practical terms. Totally different vibe (and weather! Ugh, the Central Valley can be so hot).

    And if your goal is a better dating pool, I don’t really know what it’s like in Sacramento, if that’ll tick the boxes you’re looking for.

    HOWEVER, I’m here in Seattle (which is similar in it’s ratio and number of young available dudes, I hear, and they are similar demographically/attitudinally/industrywise), and from what I’ve heard is that “The odds are good, the goods are odd”, and all those tech bros are kind of a nightmare.

    But if you can afford it, I think you should give it a go. Just give it a year and see how it goes.

    #846482 Reply

    SF is expensive, but if the only thing stopping you is fear, rather than budget… I say go for it. You’re not planning to be there long-term, so go experience the city of your dreams! Worst case scenario you hate it and move back to LA.

    Also a note on dating. I assume you’re mentioning that you are Indian because you hope to date other Indians, but I don’t think SF is known as a hotspot for Indians…? On top of that, dating is rough everywhere, so if you’re looking to date casually, that’s okay, but if you’re looking for a long-term/life partner, I think you’ll run into problems with your plan to be there under a year. (I, too, have heard the saying “the odds are good but the goods are odd” from friends/family in San Francisco.)

    #846484 Reply

    Not to give her too much attention (and I think a lot of the drama was self-inflicted), but remember the girl dating in Marina? Yiiikkkkeeeessss.

    But, I still say give it a go.

    And maybe, if your company in San Jose, maybe you want to check out Fremont?

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