Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Should I text/message her again or count my loss.

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Should I text/message her again or count my loss.

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  • #850204 Reply

    Hi Everyone,

    I’m looking for some indeipendent straight truth advice, I don’t really open up on my emotional side to family and friends, basically in a nutshell…

    I met a girl on a night out this Saturday, she approached me whilst I was with a group of friends and offered me a drink, we got chatting and I from the off there was something about her I liked, besides how stunningly beautiful she is.

    Long story short we spent he night together, she was very adamant on us leaving our friends and just hanging together, so the next day I message her on what’s app… I’m
    Left on read and absolutely no reply, now I’ve not messaged back as usually I’m not the type of person who’s so eager to
    Meet up again but for the first time since I can remember, I just want her to message me back so I can take her for a real date and see how we get on.

    My question is, should I take that as a hint and just delete the number or should I attempt to contact her again one weekend, I don’t want to come across eager but at the same time don’t want to regret at least putting myself out there and tell her I’d like to see her again.

    It’s a strange one for me as I’ve never been the one on this side of the fence and not sure I’m entirely comfortable with it, my head Is telling me just to forget it all and get on with it.

    Any advice would be hugely appreciated, in particular would like to understand a women’s perspective on this?!

    #850205 Reply

    if it was me i’d leave the ball in her court and wait to see if she messages you back….at most maybe send one more message stating you’d like to take her out on a date….if still no reply then she probably isn’t interested….you sound like a really nice guy so i’ve got my fingers crossed for you

    #850207 Reply
    avatarAndrea Letsen

    The saying ‘if they want to, they will’ applies to both men and women.

    I can categorically tell you, as a woman, that a man hassling me when I haven’t responded to him is one of the biggest put-offs I have experienced, and has cost a few men any chance they may have actually had at another date with me in the past.

    Simple fact is she knows how to contact you. If she wants to, she will.

    She may still yet, who knows. But I can’t see messaging her further helping your cause.

    #850208 Reply

    She’s probably not interested. People don’t forget to respond to people they’re genuinely excited to hear from. If you really feel compelled to do so, one more message probably won’t hurt, but if it were me, I’d leave it.

    #850210 Reply

    So, you messaged her on Sunday and it’s now not even all of the way through Tuesday. You’re getting very antsy very fast. I’d give her a couple more days and then message her again.

    #850212 Reply

    Thanks mate, I think everyone who has said to leave it is pretty much right, hopefully if I bump into her again in person we can see what happens but I will leave it as don’t want to risk being too over the top.

    Appreciate the advice all, not usually one to open up to friends and family about this sort of stuff hence coming online so thanks again for the advice,
    It’s much appreciated.

    #850232 Reply

    My rule if I was interested was always to call shortly after (this was back in the day) and then do one more follow-up a week later. Then I took the hint.

    #850240 Reply

    Sorry Ron, I have to disagree. If she’s a millennial, she has a smartphone and she’s truly interested, there’s no way she’d wait 3 or more days to respond.

    Especially because she’s likely checking her Whatsapp multiple times a day. She would see his name/text just sitting there…

    The only time I ever forget to reply to a text is if it’s from someone I don’t really want to get into a conversation with and I keep putting it off.

    #850242 Reply

    Why wouldn’t you talk to family or friends about it? We’re just absolute strangers on the internet.

    In my life, I’d probably send one more message, but I have to agree that she’s seen it, she’s a millennial and she’ll either get back to you or she won’t.

    #850243 Reply

    Did she specifically give you her WhatsApp name so you could contact her that way? There’s a possibility she doesn’t really use it and didn’t see she got a message. But yeah, honestly if she was interested, she’d get back to you after the first message or even have reached out to you first. No response is, in my opinion, a polite declination.

    #850250 Reply

    The reason I’m unsure what to do is purely because on the night it was her who shown the interest and was adamant we leave our friends to carry on getting to know each other, when I dropped her off back home and went to meet my friends again she asked me to stay with her.

    Just very confusing how it can go from so hot to cold, must be the disco juice though, thanks everyone for the input, as much as it’s not nice to hear someone isn’t interested, it’s better to face the truth haha

    #850251 Reply

    The way she approached you so assertively and wanted to get out of there, seems interesting. Like it wasn’t a normal kind of “two people meet while out at the club and maybe start dating,” more like she was on a mission for sex and maybe that’s all she wanted.

    Did she give you her contact info or no?

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