Should I try again?

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  • Ashley
    December 13, 2022 at 6:13 pm #1117133

    One day my husband told me he wasn’t happy anymore and wanted a divorce. He left the kids and I. I was beyond depressed I couldn’t cope. He told me to go out and date, I did but it was still in love with him. My husband pushed me to file for divorce which I did. I ended up sleeping with another man because I thought it would help me heal. My husband went on a trip with another woman and posted it for everyone to see. While I was privately doing my own thing. He introduced this woman to our children after a month. He told me shortly after that he was lost without me and wanted to get back together. I was hesitant for awhile until eventually he convinced me to reconcile. I told him of the intimacy I had shared with another man. He told me he couldn’t be intimate with the other woman but we could work though it. He would go through fits telling me I didn’t love him I never cared about him. For months and on two occasions he got violent. I finally told him we had enough. Then he came clean that he had been intimate as well after lying to me for months and making me feel guilty. He now wants to make things work but I fear there’s too much damage now. I’m not sure what to do. He’s out of the house. But still convincing me to reconsider.

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    peggy
    December 13, 2022 at 10:22 pm #1117134

    So,he leaves you and the kids,abruptly and without asking you to work with him/get therapy etc. to “fix” your marriage. He encouraged you to date and file for divorce. Then he flaunted his relationship with another woman, publicly. Next another a very short time of dating,he introduced your kids to this person….
    Suddenly after that he wanted to get back together. He said he had not slept with the woman ( defying any belief). Then he is emotionally, mentally and physically abusive to you while also telling you he was lying to you about having sex. I can not see how he would change,improve or add value to your life. He certainly jumps from the frying pan to the fir and back again without any real thought or regard for others…especially you and the children.
    It would be a no for me. He showed his selfish and weak character and that he can not be trusted. If you were to give him another chance ( I wouldn’t ) you should stay living separately and attend therapy sessions together,and on your own as well and “date” him and see how/if he intends to repair the damage he caused/created.

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    LisforLeslie
    December 14, 2022 at 7:13 am #1117137

    What is there to love about this person. He cheated on you. He left you. He left his kids. He’s violent. He’s abusive. He came back probably because this woman kicked him to the curb.

    How is your life any better with him in it?

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    PassingBy
    December 14, 2022 at 8:05 am #1117138

    He got violent.
    Instant disqualifier. Especially with kids in the picture.

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    Anonymousse
    December 14, 2022 at 11:31 am #1117140

    You’re right. There’s too much damage and he’s violent. Leave. Don’t try again. You’ve already tried again and again and he’s a violent, lying, cheater. I doubt he’ll change with another try. Eventually you have to decide your time and happiness and worth more than his bs. I know he’s your children’s father, I don’t care. He’s a jerk.

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Should I try again?

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