Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Skin: am I obsessive or are they just rude?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Skin: am I obsessive or are they just rude?

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 16 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #961929 Reply
    avatarSammy
    Guest

    Advice please:
    Are they right, being rude, lack of understanding or am I being obsessive?
    like it to look after my skin, it’s part of my self care, as I used to be good at taking good care until I became extremely depressed and I didn’t take good care of it. I also have an interest in skin conditions in general. When I talk about it to certain people that I’m doing or using something on my skin they roll their eyes like they are disinterested and they say they don’t care. To me it shows that I’m getting better and wanting to take care of myself. They say I’m vein or obsessive. I don’t talk about it all the time just on occasion. I do lack self confidence in the way I look though but when I do skin treatments on myself I feel good and for me it shows I getting myself back but worry it’s turning in to an obsession?

    #961930 Reply
    avatarbloodymediocrity
    Participant

    The question you should ask yourself is how much of a negative impact does your skin-care routine have on your life, and do you want to change it?

    My wife has a form of OCD related to skin-care. At its worst she would spend 15 to 20 hours a week treating her skin. It was very destructive and had a major negative impact on her life. It’s mostly under control now.

    If it’s not something you really want to change, don’t worry about whether it’s obsessive or not. Either way, there isn’t any need to discuss it with disinterested parties, so stop doing that.

    #961933 Reply
    avatarpeggy
    Guest

    I agree with Bloody Mediocrity. NO need to mention it to others,as A: you could sound like you are shilling products,setting them up for a sales pitch and/or B: It is just too much info/ TMI,unless they are family or a best friend. Even then a little goes a long way.
    Good you are taking care of yourself-keep doing that!

    #961934 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    People aren’t generally interested in details on other people’s self-care. It’s great that you’re getting better, but that’s really between you and you.

    #961935 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Skincare, (as well as basically anything you can think of) just isn’t interesting to some people. Everyone is allowed to like different things. If these are your friends, and are nice otherwise maybe you should try to not talk about it so much.

    You could keep it to yourself, share with friends who do like skincare, or join some social media groups that are out there about skincare? I like taking care of my skin, too but I don’t really talk much about it. I even get tired of seeing videos and reading about what others do. It’s just currently a pretty over saturated market right now.

    Is it vain? Who cares? You do you. Don’t feel bad for enjoying it, but also take the feedback that those specific people don’t want to hear about it.

    #961937 Reply
    bittergaymarkBittergaymark
    Guest

    I don’t think any of my girlfriends have ever talked to me much about their skincare. None of my guy friends either. Even the uber gay ones! Its just not a topic that is exciting to most people.

    #961941 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    Here are the only skin related convos I have had in my long long life:

    1. Complaint followed by sympathy and recommendation
    2. Admiration followed by thanks and general 1 to 3 point summary (e.g. “I use this $5 stuff!” or “I never smoked and use sunscreen every day!” )

    No one wants to hear about your Korean 12 step routine.

    #961942 Reply
    avatarLeslie Wisan
    Guest

    * and I mean Korean not in a derogatory way – only that the world is currently obsessed with these 12 step routines from South Korea.

    #961949 Reply
    avatarKarebear1813
    Participant

    People rolling their eyes is a social cue to move on from whatever subject you are talking about.

    Do not bring up your skin routine unless someone actually wants to know.
    If they compliment your skin, say thanks I use X product, and move on.

    The comment ” I also have an interest in skin conditions in general”, is not a common topic to randomly bring up with random people to engage in conversations and if you bring this up with friends and family a lot, you are basically just beating a dead horse. They probably want you to shut up.

    #961951 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I don’t know if you’re obsessive, but you’re definitely boring people. And actually, it’s kind of a blessing that people close to you aren’t afraid to just tell you they don’t care and you’re being boring, because hopefully that keeps you from doing this to other people.

    Just because you’re doing something for your health doesn’t mean people want to hear about it. Think of vegans, CrossFit people, people with essential oils, people on Keto, people who count macros, etc etc etc. No one cares.

    The only time to talk about your skin care routine is if someone actually asks you about your skin and what you use (and not in a “So, a lot of you guys have been asking me about my skincare routine” way).

    #961952 Reply
    avatarEle4phant
    Guest

    So I don’t know if your interest and attention to your skin is obsessive, but if it’s the only thing you want to talk about it does make you a bore.

    Conversation is a two way street. No matter what the topic, if someone drones on and on about one topic and doesn’t give people the space the talk about their interests and what’s going on in life, that does make you a bad conversationalist.

    Spend a few minutes talking about your latest skin discovery, then ask your friends about what their into.

    Save the deep dives for online groups or something where everyone else is just as into skincare as you are.

    #961959 Reply
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    Kate- just wanted to say, most vegans I know tie themselves in knots trying to never ever mention it, this might be true of cross-fit or keto people too- like everything, it’s ONLY the loud annoying ones you notice.It’s pretty tricky eating with people, one of the few benefits of lockdown means fewer social interactions where you have to do your best to hide it (or you get pounced on and repeatedly questioned by people who will not want to hear the answers to their questions 😀 )

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 16 total)
Reply To: Skin: am I obsessive or are they just rude?
Your information: