Yeah, this situation is a little different in my opinion because normal people make adjustments to accommodate people they love. The OP probably thought she’d get used to it once she was there every night, and if she didn’t they’d figure it out. That’s pretty normal. What’s not normal is him not giving a shit if she sleeps, and not trying to get the dog to move to a bed or something. The guy doesn’t seem like he really cares about her, and if there were signs of that before they moved in, well, mistake. But I think saying he shouldn’t have to try to work on this with her because “she knew” is kinda weird imo.

Right, that’s the other thing, life changes all the time. Things happen. You have to be able to problem-solve as a couple and find solutions.

I *dont* think this guy would be a good choice to settle down and have kids with. He needs to be willing to budge and make adjustments for your happiness, your kids’ happiness.

Again, is this literally the only thing, or if you’re honest is it more than this?

This isn’t difficult, LW. Your BF believes that it’s more important to sleep in the bed with the dog than with you. We can all argue all day about who is the “asshole” here, but it doesn’t really matter. Assigning blame changes nothing. He’s not going to change and neither are you. To him, dumping the dog in the floor is less palatable than being dumped by you. Can’t say I wouldn’t feel the same re my dog, in general, but for the right person, maybe? Clearly, you’re not that person for him. MOA.

1. The guy sounds like a jerk.

2. I can sympathize with the cuddling thing. I like to cuddle but can’t sleep cuddled.

3. I think that sleeping in separate bedrooms isn’t the end of the world if it comes to that. People sometimes have incompatible sleep habits. It sounds like there are larger problems though with his ability to compromise.

4. HOF* who sleeps in the bed with us snores like a monster truck getting sucked into a giant compactor.

*Hound of Fyodor

Oh, JFC. I missed the part about this being a queen bed. Yeah. He’s made his choice.

I think everyone is rightly peeved on your behalf. However, we’re pointing out that you moved in with an established pattern, so it’s not surprising that you’d be facing resistance. However, you’ve added additional context – not cuddling perhaps because the positions are more painful is a HUGE change that should be taken into account.

What people are asking (and you have not answered) is whether or not this type of behavior is a pattern? Do you ask for something and if it doesn’t line up with his needs, does your need go unmet? You’re stressed, in pain and tired, and yet – this argument is all about his need to cuddle and have a great dane in the bed. If he doesn’t get his way, he can still sleep can’t he? If he needs that weight of cuddle, he could get one of those weighted blankets. He has tried nothing other than being a pouty little baby man.