Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Sleeping with the Dog

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This topic contains 79 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by avatar keyblade 2 months, 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 73 through 80 (of 80 total)
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  • #833224 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    Actually we think you should move out because someone who cares about your WOULD find a solution and he clearly refuses to.

    #833269 Reply
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    SherBear

    Didn’t read all the comments but I will say this – I used to sleep with my pitbull every night but my boyfriend is a light sleeper and said he can’t sleep with the dog in the bed as he wakes up every time she moves. So now my dog sleeps in her bed in our bedroom – he wouldn’t have moved in without this arrangement and my dog had no problem with it. It took her like 3 nights to understand she doesn’t sleep up there anymore and is just fine with her new arrangement! Some nights she skips the bedroom although and sleeps on the couch. Seriously though – any guy that is telling you that you are being selfish isn’t someone to build a future with! And for the record my boyfriend and dog get along great, and my dog only jumps into the bed when there is a thunderstorm.

    #833282 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Thunder storms is a perfectly reasonable time for doggie cuddles.

    #833293 Reply
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    PDX816

    I love animals, I dream of the day I can own a pittie. But I greatly dislike sleeping with animals. It’s a sensory thing (I also don’t like being cuddled all night either). And quite frankly I don’t want animal hair on my sheets/blankets that I sleep in. For me it wouldn’t have gotten to this place with regards to the dog, but I have never had a SO who has not at least tried to compromise with the cuddling. That would make me feel like I was not allowed to be myself and that my needs weren’t taken into consideration. I do think he is being selfish, and him not being willing to compromise at all is a red flag. Lets be honest, of all the things you compromise on in a LTR, cuddling shouldn’t be the hardest. Good luck, and incase you need to hear it, your needs and wants are valid and you are not wrong for being upset.

    #833301 Reply
    FireStar
    FireStar
    Participant

    Sorry…you suggested a larger bed and he said no because it’s an older home? Would the bigger bed actually fit though? I have an older home and my king takes up a lot of the bedroom but the queen wasn’t even an option when I had my daughter. We all had to fit. I had to forego my architectural digest dream spread. If he is saying no to every possible solution and coming up with none himself that’s a much bigger problem than a great Dane. Also, have your own blanket so no one can steal it.

    #833302 Reply
    Roxy_84
    Roxy84

    I also moved in with (and married) the owner of a 150lb Great Dane! Pretty sure she shared the bed with my husband before I came around as well. He’d still happily have her on the bed every night since he’s a pretty good sleeper and doesn’t mind being crowded. But when we started dating, whenever I stayed over she would sleep on her bed (it’s a love seat), which was just an unspoken adjustment. If you want a partner to be happy to share your bed, there should be a standard amount of room.

    Now the dog will cuddle on the bed with us in the evening while we’re reading or hanging out, but as soon as the lights go out she hops off to her bed. Personally, I think it’s a lot to expect a partner to share a Queen or smaller bed with a Great Dane all night. You can want someone to do it, but you’ve got to realize that’s an ask!

    #833307 Reply
    TheLadyE
    TheLadyE

    I’m going to revisit my last post and say that I think things are completely different with it being such a big dog. That dog weighs [quite a bit] more than I do! To me the obvious solution is getting a bigger bed (or even getting two queens and pushing them together – I’ve seen it done!) so maybe that means getting a bigger house? – but I think everyone is right, and I agree, that the BF’s unwillingness to compromise at all is a huge indicator of his immaturity and lack of caring for his girlfriend. It’s weird that something that seemingly has such a simple solution would cause him to be so inflexible. I would definitely hold off on pregnancy/kids with him and rethink the relationship.

    #833309 Reply
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    keyblade
    Member

    Bed dog

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by avatar keyblade.
    • This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by avatar keyblade.
    • This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by avatar keyblade.
    • This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by avatar keyblade.
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