Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

super lonely, want to “get in” with a friend group but no idea how

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice super lonely, want to “get in” with a friend group but no idea how

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  • #962145 Reply

    Ive never had a really good friend group, I have my friends from my sports team but they don’t really get me that much, and are much more introverted and calm than I am (they never want to go out). I feel as if im wasting my high school years completely, and making no memories that I will be able to look back on fondly or tell my kids, which breaks my heart and makes me so depressed and sad bc there’s so much I want to do. Ive been hanging out with this one girl over summer and we get along so well, our personalities are exactly alike and we love the same things. Her friend group is ridiculously fun and chill and is EXCACTLY the sort of thing im looking for. They go on all sorts of fun trips together, and do like crazy fun spontaneous things all the time. I want to be friends with them so bad, they are all incredibly nice and fun girls. But, I only know the one girl from the group well, so is there any way to start hanging out with them or insert myself into that group without being weird? Also its quarantine so I’m, not in school, if i was it would be easy to meet the girls/sit with them at lunch etc. I DONT want to come of as desperate or weird so is there anything I can do to get to know them better/ maybe be in their group???

    #962150 Reply

    Ask your friend to include you? That’s not desperate or weird.

    #962259 Reply

    You will have more chances of success if you ask your friend to include you sometimes.
    you should also make the work yourself to expand your social circle beyond your friend and her friends.
    Join an other activity, if your sport team in not interested in going out. I doubt, by the way, that they are “introverted”. They are just not interested, probably have other plans.
    Join a club or group that is inclusive, like theater, reading club, chamber music or a music band, or whatever your like anyway.
    Don’t get discouraged by just one club. This Covid-time is tough indeed, but they are probably more teenagers like you who wish to hang out like you where you live.

    #962266 Reply

    Try to enter the group casually through your one friend and attend larger events. Be fun and NOT clingy. Slowly build your relationship with others in the group. Slowly. Wait for them to invite you to more intimate garherings like trips. And if you hear about them after NOT being invited, be enthusiastic —- not hurt. “Oooh! A girls weekend! How fun! What all did you do?” Not “Why wasn’t I invited…”

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