Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Thanksgiving Sucks Pt.2

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  • #861298 Reply

    Hi everybody,
    I have posted before on this concerning my issue with Thanksgiving. i am stressed out. thanksgiving is coming up. my family is going to arizona in order to visit my sister and her family. we go every year. this year has been a rough past year for me. the past 7 months have been rough, as my boyfriend got into a place and, even though he is innocent, he is facing all the consequences for it. my family wants me to go with them to arizona, but my excuse was that i do not have the money to spend on an airplane ticket. because of this, my sister bought an airplane ticket and surprised me with it. i told my boyfriend and he got upset. saying “we have never spent a Thanksgiving together” and “i was hoping this year you’d spend it with me”. he is upset and i feel bad, as i believe it was better to stay home. i do not have a great relationship with my family, especially since my mom is toxic and kills my vibe all the time. i do not know what to do. please help

    #861301 Reply

    You don’t have a bad relationship with your family, though, right? You don’t like your mom. Your sister bought you a ticket home. In your last post, you said you wanted to see your dad, sisters, niece and nephew.

    What did your bf do?

    Go home for 1.5 days. It won’t hurt anything to see your dad, your sisters, niece and and nephew for two days. You can deal with your mom for 1.5 days.

    Are you sure your bf is innocent? I’m sorry he’s going to jail, but the holidays are here, and of course your family wants to see you. That’s not unusual or unreasonable. They’ve paid for you to visit, and you might as well pay a visit.

    #861302 Reply

    Wait, do you still have to pay for a hotel and rental car when you get to Arizona? Wasn’t that in your last post?

    #861304 Reply

    If your boyfriend is going to jail, even though he is innocent – I doubt that – I don’t think it is fair for him (however innocent) to guilt you into staying with him while your family is expecting to see you and inviting you.
    Plus, he won’t be all alone. He will spend the holiday in his own family.
    I think you should go see your family and take some distance with your boyfriend. Let him face the responsibility of his actions, this is not for you to be accountable and feel guilty for the consequences of what HE did. He should work hard to regain your esteem, on the contrary.
    Please, put yourself first.

    #861313 Reply

    Your bfs level of manipulation of you over merely wanting to spend Thanksgiving with your family makes believe it is VERY unlikely he is actually innocent. Sounds like his claim of innocence is just another instance of manipulating you.

    #861335 Reply

    This is what happens when you don’t take control of your life and make your own decisions. Your sister decided for you and got you a plane ticket. Your boyfriend is upset because you probably said stuff that made him think you’d be spending the holiday with him. And maybe he’s a manipulative creep, idk. Whatever, he’s going to jail anyway, and no, he’s not innocent, give me a break.

    I personally would have told my family sorry, I can’t afford the trip this year and I’ll be having dinner with Kyle’s family.

    #861369 Reply

    OMG. Just go to Thanksgiving with your family. It doesn’t need to be the ordeal you’ve made it into. You were indecisive and dramatic about something relatively small, so your sister stepped in to do something nice for you. Now you’re unsure again because your loser jail-bound boyfriend is giving you a hard time about being apart on Thanksgiving? It’s perfectly normal for college couples to spend the holidays apart (most of my friends didn’t routinely spend the holidays with an SO before they got engaged or married). You’d think he’d be more upset about the time you’ll miss out on together because he is going to jail than the two days you’ll be out of town with your family.

    #861382 Reply

    If you had been honest and said you wanted to spend Thanksgiving with your boyfriend and so wouldn’t be going to Arizona that would be that. Instead you lied. You said the reason you weren’t going was because you couldn’t afford the plane ticket so your sister kindly bought you the ticket. That was very generous on her part. You should got to Arizona and see your family.

    If, in the future, you don’t want to go give the real reason so that people don’t buy you tickets that you don’t want.

    In general, boyfriends who are going to jail are bad news.

    #861392 Reply

    Oh yeah. Sure… the boyfriend is Innocent. Christ.?It’s amazing what some people will believe. Truly.

    Go to Arizona.

    Hopefully, your boyfelon will dump you and thus free you if his sorry ass!!

    #861395 Reply

    go to Arizona. Be a support for/get support from your sister. Lean on each other when dealing with your mom. Don’t miss out on family time because your boyfriend of less than one year – who is scheduled to go to jail soon – is unhappy. Maybe your sister really wants you there because your mom is toxic ans she needs you. Your sister will always be your sister. Your boyfriend…. I’m not really seeing much future there, but that’s not my decision.

    If he’s still out for Christmas, great – spend Christmas together. Buy him some toothbrushes and slippers. He’ll need them… in jail.

    #861410 Reply

    It may be a moot point, because isn’t there a huge storm coming out west? I heard people’s flights are getting cancelled already.

    #861415 Reply
    avatarPart-time lurker

    The storm has landed. Planes, not so much.

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