Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

The Most Clueless Bridezilla Ever

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This topic contains 33 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by avatar Poppy 1 month, 1 week ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 34 total)
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  • #811646 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    JD, you shallow fool. Don’t you recognize the trappings of the truly deep? She’s a “spiritual healer” for fuck’s sake! What comparable thing have either you or I accomplished?

    #811647 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    Oh goodness, you are right. A spiritual pimp party. That’s it, I am booking my ticket. No way she doesn’t have a wedding website where one could find the dates.

    #811656 Reply
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    quokka

    If I was invited, and for some bizarre reason was unable to decline, (poison ingested and the antidote is only available to guests perhaps), I’d be eating everything in sight so I’d qualify for the ‘plus size’ outfits – particularly if I was a man; with camouflage I’d be able to blend into the Hawaiian foliage and they wouldn’t be able to find me come dance time.

    #811660 Reply
    avatar
    Ange

    And did you guys see the camo and black outfits the ‘larger’ guests have to wear are representative of devil energy or some such nonsense? My lord could she be any more obvious. What a whacko.

    #811675 Reply
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    TheHizzy

    I mean….if the bride says you must comply.

    Seriously folks, weddings are getting out of hand! In 40 years when they’ve come down off peak crazy I hope our great grandkids look at photos and go “WTF?!”

    #811676 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Who is friends with this woman?! How does she have anyone to even invite to her wedding, let alone force to dress in hideous outfits and do synchronized dancing?

    #811677 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    I can’t wait for the synchronized dancing when I crash this. I better start practicing now.

    #811682 Reply
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    TheHizzy

    One thing I have learned is that wedding planning can make the crazy come out like no other. I wonder if this lady seemed normal until she got engaged and then just jumped off the deep end, head first, no life jacket, and doesn’t know how to swim.

    I can’t wait to see the video!

    #811684 Reply
    avatar
    Vathena

    Aside from the utter rudeness/insanity of this, EVEN IF guests were willing to purchase and enthusiastically wear these outfits, I can’t begin to see how a person could stand *in sand* wearing *stiletto heels* and *tight suede pants* and be able to kick high enough to see the *bottoms* of the shoes well enough to create any kind of visual effect. Ever see the Rockettes perform wearing tight suede pants?! There’s a reason for that! The only visual effect I’d expect to see is “average-height sweaty women falling on their asses”.

    #811690 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    She sounds English because she specifies that slim men wear trainers. Heavy men apparently represent the devil.

    This is too funny. The outfits are not only hideous but so inappropriate for the temperature in Hawaii.

    There really is a $99 polygraph on Amazon. Who would have believed that.
    https://www.amazon.com/USB-Polygraph-UP00/dp/B001RMXZ9I/ref=sr_1_9_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1544545427&sr=8-9-spons&keywords=polygraph+test&psc=1&smid=A54D2RS9KNZFE

    I’d love to know how many of her guests have been uninvited to the wedding because they refused to attend the polygraph party.

    #811691 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    If the wedding party actually makes it to the beach dressed as requested and starts the synchronized dance every person on the beach will pull out their phone and take a video and they will all be laughing as they do it and the bridezilla will be furious that everyone is mocking her instead of understanding the spiritual beauty of the choreographed dance.

    The way everything is worded the husband to be is in full agreement with all of this.

    #811693 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Actually, I suspect a cold feeted groom to flee may have leaked the letter…

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