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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

The reappearing ex

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  • #1109428 Reply
    Delilah
    Guest

    I broke up with my ex a while back. He has been the one to continually call me each week and has even asked to see me and wanted to remain friends. I was not the one reaching out to him, even on social media, and he blocked me on all platforms and sometimes his phone number. This really confused me because he was adamant about staying in contact and seeing me and would also block my number on his phone when I would try to call him. It made me very angry he was doing this. I finally got mad, told him off in voice-mail and to just let me live my life and then he started confessing his love for me still wanting to see me. He then unblocked me on one social media account and on his phone. I told him I just needed peace and no contusion anymore. My question is, why this behavior? This is a 36 year old man and I have never dealt with such crazy making behavior.

    #1109431 Reply
    peggy
    Guest

    Why did you break up? Do you want to give him a second chance? I do not believe most couples who break up, can be “friends”. Someone always wants more it seems. So then it serves neither of you.
    If you are “done with him”, just stop all communication. Don’t answer,do not comment etc. Or just block him.
    Who knows why he is acting this way?.. just move on if you are not interested. If you do still want to “fix things”, tell he needs to be straight forward and mature,stop playing games. Then talk to see if he can do that. It sounds doubtful to me.

    #1109434 Reply
    anonymousse
    Participant

    Didn’t you post the same thing a few days ago?

    Because he likes knowing you always respond, that’s why. Just block him, again.

    #1109436 Reply
    Delilah
    Guest

    This is the first time I have posted…..

    #1109444 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Did he cheat on you and that’s why you broke up with him?

    I know it’s hard to get your mind around this, but you’ll never know why, and it doesn’t matter why, he cheated and why he’s acting like this now. I struggled after breakups too with needing to know “why.” You have to let go of that because it will keep you stuck. All that matters is that his behavior toward you isn’t acceptable, and YOU have the power to stop it and move on. You do this by blocking him on every channel by which he could reach you, and never, ever replying if he finds a new way. That’s it!

    Look, you can’t be “friends” with a guy who cheated on you and then doesn’t have enough respect for you to just let you go. It’s clear that he only wants to talk to you on HIS terms. He doesn’t want you calling him probably because he’s with someone else. Think about it, why the hell else would he block your calls? He wants attention and validation from you when he wants it. He doesn’t actually care about you. Everything he’s done and is doing is screaming that. It doesn’t matter why, other than the guy’s a dickhead.

    #1109446 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    And you did post this twice before.

    https://dearwendy.com/topic/very-confused-please-help/

    https://dearwendy.com/topic/crazy-making-behavior-from-ex/

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 6 days ago by Kate.
    • This reply was modified 1 week, 6 days ago by Kate.
    #1109450 Reply
    anonymousse
    Participant

    LOL, Kate with the receipts.

    Stop wasting time wondering why and move on.

    #1109451 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I do sympathize, and only produced the receipts because you denied it, and because you’ve already gotten all the right advice.

    You have to come to terms with the fact that you’re doing this to yourself. This low-value man does not have the power to make you crazy. He’s just a dumb-ass cheating creep. You have all the power here to just cut him off and never let him communicate with you again. Will it hurt? Sure, all breakups hurt to some extent. But it’s going to hurt less, and for a much shorter time, if you just accept that this guy sucks and that’s all you need to know. And then actually block him everywhere and enjoy your summer. Text your friends and make plans. Pamper yourself. Go on a trip. Go on the dating apps when you feel ready. Don’t look back. This idiot’s words don’t match his actions so you already know they’re BS. Bye.

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