Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

things are falling apart

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  • #899672 Reply

    hi, I don’t really know how to start this so I am just going to do it. my life is falling apart I am bi and I don’t know how to tell my family that is very into god I love my family so much but I just can’t tell them when I try to I just stop and can’t seem to get the words out my friends are the same way they don’t really act like friends tbh being there friend id like a job like working and I know that being with your friends with someone is not like that but is like my job is the make them like I get left out a lot but even when they are so mean to me I just acted like nothing is wrong I feel so alone all the time I feel like my life is a really crape movie all my life I have just had one bad thing after another if I could leave this town I guess this how life is like for a teenager but when in the movie do I get my glow up fall in love with someone get the fuck out of this fucking town and live everything behind and live happy ever after I am still waiting well if you made it this far thanks for lisning to me let it out byee

    #899830 Reply

    If you think your parents will react poorly to your sexuality don’t tell them till you are self sufficient. You can be close to your parents without telling them everything. Find your local LGBTQ community online and connect with people in similar situations as you. I’m old and out of touch so I don’t know where exactly to direct you, but maybe someone else on here will know & chime in. Feeling understood & supported will improve your outlook on life

    Your next step is to do whatever you need to become self sufficient. You’ll need more than a high school diploma. The military, trade school, or a 4 year college all have their benefits & drawbacks. This is how you get your glow up. Work to build a life that is satisfying to you, whatever that looks like. It doesn’t happen overnight, but you’ll get there

    #899919 Reply

    Scarleteen is amazing, start there. The Trevor Project and GLAAD also have amazing resources. Queer Grace is a site for LGBTQ youth who identify as christian or have christianity as a component in their life, also a great site to checkout.

    As for school, I can’t tell if you’re being bullied or just have crappy friends who don’t really care about you? Either way, can you look for other activities or clubs to join? Is there an LGBTQ club at your school? Often any ally can join those, you don’t have to come out to participate. Talk to your school counselor or a trusted teacher, tell them what’s going on and ask for advice. You could also try activities outside of your own school (intramural sports, dance or art classes) or volunteer at your local animal shelter. These are all ways to expand your circle. It may not be safe to come out to your family until you’re on your own, but it will get better. Concentrate on getting good grades and participating in extracurriculars to have the best shot possible at getting into a good college. The vast majority of people start the best part of their life after high school. Colleges are filled with diverse people and opportunities and you’ll find your people there if you can hang on for a while.

    #899987 Reply

    You don’t have to tell your parents anything. You don’t have to come out to them, or tell them you’re dating someone. You don’t owe them private information about you. Now or ever, frankly. You’re allowed to keep your personal business private if you want to. Especially if you know they’d judge you or treat you badly.

    If your friends are not really your friends, don’t spend so much time with them, or try to meet new people. It took me years to realize that I didn’t have to hang out with people who made me feel like shit. So I just stopped. Life is much more enjoyable when you decide your time is important and you don’t have to spend it with people who are crap.

    Life will get better when you can move out for work or school and build your own life- wherever you want to, with whoever you want to.

    It won’t be like this forever. Do the best you can in school now so that you can get into a good school, or save, save, save your money to move out when you can. Good luck.

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