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Dear Wendy

Traveling with out wife

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This topic contains 122 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by avatar ele4phant 6 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 73 through 84 (of 123 total)
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  • #830576 Reply
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    ele4phant

    Okay, whatever. I don’t care how you view their business.

    These in-laws are gone. It doesn’t matter anymore. Your FIL is dead, your MIL is effectively gone.

    You do have a helpless human being that is in an unsafe environment that you are morally and perhaps legally responsible for. You need to do something to get this person in a safe environment, if nothing more than your ass might get in trouble if you don’t.

    Take some agency for your life.

    #830577 Reply
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    Mike

    I have. Legally I’m not a family member. I’ve been asked not to interfere. Advice from the state had been given. I’m not even allowed in her house because I can’t be trusted. They eye me with suspicion. The house smells of rotting food and human urine. MIL has lost control of her body functions.

    #830578 Reply
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    Mike

    You sound like my sister .

    #830579 Reply
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    Kate

    Well that sounds just great, Mike. Good thing you’re a 50+ year old adult with a new lease on life and can extricate yourself from all that.

    #830580 Reply
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    ele4phant

    If you literally have tried everything – tried an intervention with doctors/legal authorities, literally everything, then call social services.

    You have to do something more than you have been. Just trying isn’t morally sufficient.

    Again, as the son-in-law, maybe you don’t have legal obligations. IDK, I’m waiting for Guyfriday to see this thread.

    But certainly, morally, a decent person couldn’t sit by.

    #830581 Reply
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    SpaceySteph
    Participant

    Wait so what’s happening to the 10 year old while you’re in Paris? Did I miss that part? Because that kid has got to be in school, you cant just gallivant off to Europe in the middle of the school year.

    Regardless, this is no life for you or your minor child, so I agree with everyone that you need a divorce and then you need to fight for custody. Keep detailed records of when your wife is home and away from home, to help prove why you should be the custodial parent. If your wife even decides to fight, maybe she’d rather let you have the kid so she can keep parenting her mother.

    #830582 Reply
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    Ele4phant

    And you trust your sister?

    Then listen to her, and do something.

    #830583 Reply
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    Mike

    What am I to do. My wife told me her mother wants to die in her house. I’ve told her a hundred times she should be in a nursing home. My sister in-law was here a week ago and hates my guts because I’m pushing where she says I have no business. She didn’t take any steps either. But hey looks where their actions come from! Their mother. They’re doing what their mother has always done, look out for number one. This is KARMA.

    #830584 Reply
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    Kate

    Ok you’re bonkers. I’m calling it.

    #830585 Reply
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    Mike

    My sister is a police officer in another state. She has humiliated my wife for not doing the right thing. 20 other people have said the same. So what does my wife and sister in-law do? The avoid seeing them. Isolate and protect their position from people like us.

    #830586 Reply
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    Mike

    No doubt. Should have married a Jewish girl like my mom said. Lol

    #830587 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    First things first. Go talk to a lawyer and see what you will need to do to get custody of your child. If you are the caregiver of the child and can prove it you should get custody. I understand your fear of losing custody. Most women still get most of the physical custody. Dad’s get one night per week and every other weekend. Make sure you know what you need to do to get custody, even to the point that there is a clause stating that when the mother has the child she must leave the child with you when going to visit her mom. That way your child isn’t left alone most of the day every other weekend. Talk to a lawyer about your fears and the full situation. Talk to a second lawyer for a second opinion. If you get two fairly different opinions go see a third lawyer. Seeing multiple lawyers in different firms also keeps your wife from using a lawyer at any of those firms. Get opinions from the best firms in town. That should help push custody in your direction.

    Make sure you do things like take the minor child on vacation with you. If you can leave them home with a negligent mom you are either also being negligent or your wife isn’t really that bad.

    Get your ducks in a row and then get a divorce. If you spend more time away from your home make sure you always take the minor child. Document driving them to activities. Make copies of all of the forms you sign for school to show that you are the one reading them and signing permission. Pay for all school activities with a check and make sure you are the one signing the check. The same for any after school activity or sport. You need your name on the form and our name on the check. You want a trail that shows you are the one and only parent taking care of the child. Go to every school activity. Be the parent the child always can count on. Be the parent providing lunch money or who packs the lunch. Be the parent who drives to and from the activity. Be the parent who sits in the stands. Be the parent who takes pictures of everything.

    Focus on being the best parent possible rather than the aggrieved, abandoned spouse. Your emotional health will be helped by finding the good rather than the bad.

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