Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Traveling with out wife

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This topic contains 122 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by avatar ele4phant 6 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 97 through 108 (of 123 total)
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  • #830606 Reply
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    ele4phant

    And only 5 days in Paris is a waste of money.

    You would be better served to spend that money on an attorney, making substaintial and lasting changes to your life.

    Going on a 5 day vacation is like putting a bandaid on a bullet hole to the brain.

    If you are sincere about taking ownership of your life, actually take ownership of your life.

    If you just go on a short trip to Paris, you’ll be too jetlagged the whole time to actually enjoy it, and you’ll come back to a marriage that is even more bitter and resentful.

    If you want your life to be better, actually make your life better. Do that first, then get to the traveling.

    #830607 Reply
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    Mike

    Beside this was never about divorce. It was traveling a little just to see the world just in case of another heart attack. Wife is wrapped around her mother. Until she dies no family trips. BTW I took them to Florida recently to visit my sister and brothers. We had a great time. Did the parks. Wife stayed with her mother. Go figure.

    #830608 Reply
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    Mike

    Got round trip tickets for $350. Can’t beat that.

    #830609 Reply
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    Northern Star

    Yup, Mike definitely just wants a bitch session about his wife right now. And that’s human, if his account of the marriage is halfway true.

    But he’s being a bad father by raising his kid in a poisonous home situation with a Dad who resents Mom and a Mom who is too busy with her head up Grandma’s ass to ever be present at home.

    Nothing’s going to magically change unless he gets the balls to file for divorce.

    If he drops dead from another heart attack, his wife is going to be too busy chillin’ with Grandma to comfort his grieving child. Sad.

    #830610 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    I think one thing that could help you feel much better, whether you get divorced or not, is to quit waiting on your wife to live your life.

    It isn’t just Paris you’ve put off. You are probably waiting for your wife to join you for all sorts of things. Start doing those things. Go out to a movie with the rest of the family or with your young daughter and some of her friends. Go to dinner with your kids. Go for bike rides or walks or camping with your kids. What are the things you really enjoy? Share those things with your kids. Quit waiting on your wife. Take your daughter to the zoo or a concert or a museum. Invite her friends and their dads or parents. You can make your days fun even if your wife chooses to not join you. You can make your child’s days happy even if her mom neglects her. You can be a positive and happy person for all your kids. Separate having a happy day from having your wife join you in a happy day.

    #830611 Reply
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    Mike

    Not a bad father. I resent that. My kids have everything. I’m home at 3 every day. How many kids live on five acres?

    #830612 Reply
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    Mike

    Yeah we do all that. That’s all normal stuff. But we have to do it around her mother’s demands. That sucks big time.

    #830613 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    So while I was writing about living your life you explained that you recently have done some of that. Keep doing fun things. Try to work them into your life more and more. Assume your wife won’t join you but don’t let that stop you. Provide a happy family life for your kids even if family life doesn’t include mom. Your kids will appreciate you for being there for them.

    Once you quit waiting for your wife to join you life will be much freer and happier.

    #830615 Reply
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    ele4phant

    How are you possibly happy in this marriage?

    You never see your wife. She has always, ALWAYS – literally from the day you got back from your honeymoon, put you at the bottom of your priority list.

    You don’t actually want to change your life. Anymore than she wants to change hers. So, keep living this life. Forever. Go on the occasional trip and come home to a marriage that has not only failed to improve, is becoming increasingly resentful.

    #830616 Reply
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    Mike

    She can’t change hers. Not now at least. That bitch will die and I pray my wife will be free to enjoy her life.

    #830617 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    You can get up each day thinking about how your wife is abandoning you and your kids or you can get up each day and think about what you can do that day that will make life more fun for you and your kids. I’d try to do at least one fun thing every week. It will make you feel better and the kids feel better. You will all be happier. It can be very liberating to realize that you don’t have to wait for your wife to join in. You don’t have to wait for her mother to die. You don’t have to schedule around either of them. You can just schedule and if your wife chooses to not join in, oh well, the rest of you will have a good time without her.

    The reality is she is going to be with her mom for most of her waking, nonworking hours. The thing you can control is how you let that affect you and what you do. You can choose to not let her slow you up. You can choose to do fun things day in and day out. You can choose to go on trips and vacations. You can do them without your wife if that is what she chooses.

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by Skyblossom Skyblossom.
    #830619 Reply
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    Mike

    We took the kids into NYC to the MOMA. We live 30 minutes out side. They hated it. Boring. Daughter loves American girl dolls.

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