March 21, 2019 at 7:53 am #837946
Thanks for the clarification. If it isn’t obvious, I really like the site. It’s one of the few places online I leave comments, though I do so in abundance and often on topics that are usually off-table in the normal course of my day. It’s a good space.
@Kate- I know Wendy deletes them; I thought you mostly just de-activated them. When that particular thread disappeared it was at the exact moment I posted a comment and then I didn’t see any evidence it was there. It sounds completely silly but I just thought I’d mention it. I love the threads but sometimes I feel dumb replying to what ultimately ends up being a troll so maybe I’ve gotten a bit feisty over it.
March 21, 2019 at 8:00 am #837948
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by keyblade.
Dammit Wendy, setting boundaries and not allowing assholes to abuse you? Come on.March 21, 2019 at 8:11 am #837950
Silently deleting them takes away their air. Starting threads to gossip and speculate about them does the exact opposite.
I still don’t really see the issue with what Samantha wrote. She spelled some words wrong, so does everyone. She speculated on someone’s mental health diagnosis, that’s never been an issue on here. People are openly diagnosing the president of the United States now, have at it.March 21, 2019 at 8:17 am #837953
Thanks for sharing, Wendy.
I love this site, I’ve been reading you since the Frisky days. I am sorry people are assholes sometimes.
Your reaction actually doesn’t sound that OTT to me.
Anytime something disappears, I know Kate or Wendy deleted it.
It really is freeing to give fewer fucks.March 21, 2019 at 10:16 am #837960
The older I get, the less fucks I have to give. It is a great feeling!March 21, 2019 at 12:03 pm #837969
My favorite troll instances are when people get criticized by the group and then create obviously false identities to defend themselves .March 21, 2019 at 12:09 pm #837971
Yeah, those are good.March 21, 2019 at 12:38 pm #837978
Those are my fave, too.
Not troll behavior, but I also chuckle when someone who’s recently written in (for advice about their own terribly dysfunctional relationship etc) then gives advice to others.March 21, 2019 at 12:47 pm #837981
I’m pretty sure that’s a lot of us. It’s so much easier to give someone advice than it is to follow it. And I feel slightly better dishing it out because I haven’t pretended I’m someone who hasn’t been uncertain or who has no regrets. I’ve definitely struggled.March 21, 2019 at 2:26 pm #837999
@Kate- Samantha didn’t write anything wrong, she just made the same points others had made using a lot of the same words and phrases that had just been used such as “Loser” and “talks down”. I derailed by bringing up personality disorders.
Then there was an obvious fake letter I think was intending to make people think about the topic of money and commitment and sort of playing the devil’s advocate about what was reasonable to expect when dating someone who may have earlier life set-backs and less financial security.
When Samantha commented not long after that using judgmental language my over-active pattern detector thought it was a little strange especially when I got to the phrase “you very clever possum.” I haven’t heard possum as a form of endearment before and I didn’t know what to make of it, but I gave far too much attention to it all. The fact that the the thread centers of gas-lighting probably fed fuel to the flame.March 21, 2019 at 2:58 pm #838005
Oh yeah, they were not the same person. The lady with the financially irresponsible boyfriend writes in all the time about that situation. People should stop answering her. But I think the catch-22 is I usually delete it pretty quick and then people don’t remember the details. I know JD for example always responds to this lady. She’s saved all her life for retirement, can’t support two ppl in retirement, the boyfriend is irresponsible, lies about his finances, stole from his elderly mom, etc, but he really wants to move in with the LW (wonder why!) and is it a good idea?March 21, 2019 at 3:02 pm #838006
Guess I don’t memorize the every post. I am becoming less and less inclined to respond to anything each day lately anyway for numerous reasons. I’ll be sure to keep my mouth shut.