Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

troll paranoia

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This topic contains 82 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by avatar Kate 2 months ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 83 total)
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  • #837946 Reply
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    keyblade
    Member

    Thanks for the clarification. If it isn’t obvious, I really like the site. It’s one of the few places online I leave comments, though I do so in abundance and often on topics that are usually off-table in the normal course of my day. It’s a good space.

    @Kate- I know Wendy deletes them; I thought you mostly just de-activated them. When that particular thread disappeared it was at the exact moment I posted a comment and then I didn’t see any evidence it was there. It sounds completely silly but I just thought I’d mention it. I love the threads but sometimes I feel dumb replying to what ultimately ends up being a troll so maybe I’ve gotten a bit feisty over it.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by avatar keyblade.
    #837948 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Dammit Wendy, setting boundaries and not allowing assholes to abuse you? Come on.

    #837950 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Silently deleting them takes away their air. Starting threads to gossip and speculate about them does the exact opposite.

    I still don’t really see the issue with what Samantha wrote. She spelled some words wrong, so does everyone. She speculated on someone’s mental health diagnosis, that’s never been an issue on here. People are openly diagnosing the president of the United States now, have at it.

    #837953 Reply

    Thanks for sharing, Wendy.

    I love this site, I’ve been reading you since the Frisky days. I am sorry people are assholes sometimes.
    Your reaction actually doesn’t sound that OTT to me.

    Anytime something disappears, I know Kate or Wendy deleted it.

    It really is freeing to give fewer fucks.

    #837960 Reply
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    scorpio
    Member

    The older I get, the less fucks I have to give. It is a great feeling!

    #837969 Reply
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    Fyodor

    My favorite troll instances are when people get criticized by the group and then create obviously false identities to defend themselves .

    #837971 Reply
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    keyblade
    Member

    Yeah, those are good.

    #837978 Reply

    Those are my fave, too.

    Not troll behavior, but I also chuckle when someone who’s recently written in (for advice about their own terribly dysfunctional relationship etc) then gives advice to others.

    #837981 Reply
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    keyblade
    Member

    I’m pretty sure that’s a lot of us. It’s so much easier to give someone advice than it is to follow it. And I feel slightly better dishing it out because I haven’t pretended I’m someone who hasn’t been uncertain or who has no regrets. I’ve definitely struggled.

    #837999 Reply
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    keyblade
    Member

    @Kate- Samantha didn’t write anything wrong, she just made the same points others had made using a lot of the same words and phrases that had just been used such as “Loser” and “talks down”. I derailed by bringing up personality disorders.

    Then there was an obvious fake letter I think was intending to make people think about the topic of money and commitment and sort of playing the devil’s advocate about what was reasonable to expect when dating someone who may have earlier life set-backs and less financial security.

    When Samantha commented not long after that using judgmental language my over-active pattern detector thought it was a little strange especially when I got to the phrase “you very clever possum.” I haven’t heard possum as a form of endearment before and I didn’t know what to make of it, but I gave far too much attention to it all. The fact that the the thread centers of gas-lighting probably fed fuel to the flame.

    #838005 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Oh yeah, they were not the same person. The lady with the financially irresponsible boyfriend writes in all the time about that situation. People should stop answering her. But I think the catch-22 is I usually delete it pretty quick and then people don’t remember the details. I know JD for example always responds to this lady. She’s saved all her life for retirement, can’t support two ppl in retirement, the boyfriend is irresponsible, lies about his finances, stole from his elderly mom, etc, but he really wants to move in with the LW (wonder why!) and is it a good idea?

    #838006 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    Guess I don’t memorize the every post. I am becoming less and less inclined to respond to anything each day lately anyway for numerous reasons. I’ll be sure to keep my mouth shut.

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