- March 27, 2019 at 12:46 pm #839021
Thank you. I’m not out here calling people sweetie or brat or cunt or condescending to them. I’m respectful, as everyone here acknowledged. I dont know who most commenters are or how they’re going to take things, so I try to just be straightforward, not call names, and tell them what I think they should do. Take it or leave it. I’m not going to worry about what they think of what I said. They wrote anonymously to an advice forum asking anonymous people for advice. They’re going to get advice here. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to take it. It’s fine.March 27, 2019 at 1:00 pm #839027
To be clear, I wasn’t referring to when you’re giving advice to a LW – I meant when you are interacting with other commenters. I think your advice is direct and respectful. I should’ve been clearer, both about what I was referring to and also that I do think you add value to this site.March 27, 2019 at 5:12 pm #839047
Apparently advice on this site has to be millennial friendly so not trigger …..March 27, 2019 at 5:26 pm #839062
Somewhat off topic but I’m at work and a new dog patient has just come in named “Mimosa”. Kind of made my day.March 27, 2019 at 5:44 pm #839073
What does she, he, or it look like?March 27, 2019 at 5:59 pm #839079
For what it’s worth, I personally think that Kate and BGM are the same person. Split personalities, anyone? 🙂
No, but seriously, take it from someone who was friendly with the people who were part of the mass exodus: whatever Wendy did or didn’t do, she dropped it a HELL of a lot faster than they did. Like, it’s someone on the internet you’re not planning on meeting; perspective is healthy, folks. I’m not sure we regularly even talk to each other any more, though one of them actually lived in my neck of the woods briefly and we met for coffee once. Having said that, I want to be clear that the only “secret group” I’m aware of was a fantasy football league we all did for a couple of years until interest petered out.March 27, 2019 at 6:08 pm #839081
There was a secret FB group, it was literally called something like “Dear Wendy Secret Facebook Group, Sssshhhhh!” Someone put me in it just before this all went down. I didn’t screenshot it, but I remember it well.March 27, 2019 at 6:09 pm #839082
…because it was ridiculous.March 27, 2019 at 6:12 pm #839083
Oh but to clarify, it wasn’t a group ABOUT Wendy. Wendy was actually in it. It was just, like, an “insider” or “cool kids” type of thing.March 27, 2019 at 6:21 pm #839084
Well, a group ABOUT me woulda been a lot cooler, in my humble opinion.March 27, 2019 at 6:23 pm #839085
There was a clique vibe. I used to lurk but not comment because it often read like most commenters had met each other and were eager to buckle down on the same point. I think most commenters keep a little more space, now than then. I felt more comfortable commenting because at first there were a lot fewer comments so I felt less internet shy and I didn’t feel I was interrupting other’s party.
Some other observations (not criticisms)
There is only one Bittergaymark.
Late night wine-fuelled comments are frowned on particularly among non-moderators (Ambien, too)
The tone is highly interpretable. One writer’s gentle provocation can be someone else’s poison dart.
Don’t take any of it too seriously, even if it’s very serious. This isn’t a site created to deal with crises situations.
At All Costs, don’t make ironic jokes about the forums in any context (like calling oneself and others “a gauntlet of masked *whippers)
Avoid reminding moderators of behaviours reminiscent of exes.
People project.March 27, 2019 at 6:26 pm #839086
(And I have screenshots, Kate. There was a whole troll concerning convo about my health and general well-being that I particularly enjoyed. Maybe it’s her thyroid!!)