April 17, 2021 at 10:17 pm #1038644CindycindyGuest
Hello! I need some much needed advice on what I should do. My husband became a truck driver a little over 3 1\2 years ago. He did not have his CDL when we first started dating. I knew that he wanted to drive for a living but it was always explained to me that he would drive over the road for a couple of years for experience and then he would pursue something local that would get him home daily. Unfortunately, I feel like I have been manipulated to pursue a relationship with him based on false information. His intentions have been to continue to drive over the road even though it has been something that I have expressed displeasure with from the very beginning. I’ve never complained but only have expressed how I feel when asked. He seems to think that the only way he can make a good living is if he is gone for weeks at a time. Had I known that this was his intentions from the beginning I would have delayed getting married and us having a child. I’ve never been interested in having long distance relationship. Even in my teens there were guys that wanted to date me but the minute I found out they lived hundreds or thousands of miles away I became disinterested. That is my preference. I understand that there are wives and even husbands that do ok with being away from their spouse for extended periods of time, I’m just not that person. I’ve been given the advice to have my own life(which I do). I’m a full-time mom, employee, and Nursing student. I’m not up under my husband nor do I want to be. I feel that because I’m not happy with my husband plans to continue over the road and I’ve expressed that I’ve never been interested in being with someone in a long distance relationship, I’m a bad person. He’s made me feel selfish for not supporting his dream, but I’ve functioned like a single mom without complaints. I’ve only discussed with him some of the challenges that I’m facing with trying to juggle everything. The only reason I even told him how I felt was because he asked. I’m starting to resent him because I feel like I was lied to and I’m really having second thoughts about whether this relationship can last when we have such differing views about such an important decision. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!April 18, 2021 at 6:46 am #1039129LucidityGuest
Why did you only tell him part of the challenges you’re facing while he’s gone? And why would you only tell him how you feel once he asked? He can’t understand how hard this is on you if you’re not willing to have an open, honest conversation.
“I’m starting to resent him because I feel like I was lied to and I’m really having second thoughts about whether this relationship can last when we have such differing views about such an important decision.”
You need to tell him exactly this. If you can’t bring yourself to say it, ask him to come to couples counselling so a professional can help you have this conversation. If he can’t or won’t go with you, start going by yourself. There are online therapists now, like BetterHelp, where you can talk to someone anytime, from your couch.April 18, 2021 at 3:29 pm #1039632Karebear1813Participant
I mean, marriage is a give and take and it’s only been 3 1/2 yrs in and your ready to call it quits and your resentful of him. People are constantly changing and for marriages to last, sacrifices and compromises have to be made.April 20, 2021 at 8:26 am #1041709