Turbulent few years

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  • Dick123
    December 28, 2023 at 11:28 am #1127315

    Hi there, feeling a little lost and hoping for some advice. I was living in Australia for a few years and loved life. I had a great job and great lifestyle. My sister also lived there so had family and lots of friends. My brother lived in Europe. My dad fell unwell in the states so I flew home and planned on spending 6 months to help out.

    Things were going to well at the at the 6 month mark so decided to stay a bit and get a job and rent a flat.i was so sad about not going back to oz but the pressure front my family was a lot. My dad started getting better so I told my family I was going back to Australia. No one was happy. My parents would be alone again and my sibling were just happy there was somewhere there. Then suddenly my dad died. It was devastating.

    I’ve spent the last 6 months with my mum helping, and trying to support her through her grief.. while I navigating own. It’s now been 18 months since I left and I still pine to go back. I am thinking of going in April but I know I will be breaking my mother’s heart. I do feel a bit resentful towards my siblings as they are living the lives they want. They, however, have kids, so are less flexible.

    I am in my early 30s and all my friends are getting married and having kids. I am single and have dated but haven’t met anyone worth sticking around for. My sister said if I come back to oz now it won’t be like it was, and I might end up staying there. She said moving home from oz in my late 30s would be very different. My selfish heart tell me to go to oz as I have unfinished business… my head says it’s sensible to stay put. The pressure from family is suffocating and I know how many ppl I’ll let down if I leave again.

    December 28, 2023 at 11:57 am #1127316

    You have one person to please with your life- yourself. Make a pros and cons list, see a counselor just for one session and discuss this. Who will be upset? Your mom will be happy for you- or should be. Good luck.

    December 28, 2023 at 12:02 pm #1127317

    It seems your siblings are more than happy to dump all responsibility for your parents in your lap. This would cause me to significantly discount advice from them. I think you need to follow your heart and return to Australia. I’ll also voice the personal view that it is unfair for elderly parents to ‘force’ a child to tear up his life and move back with them. You are the one who needs to forge a happy and successful future. Your mother can move with you to Australia where your sister can assist you in supporting her. That is a far more equitable solution for all. A new location, away from constant reminders of your father, may help your mother emotionally.

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Turbulent few years

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