Turn Down That Music and Get Off My Lawn Moment?

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  • Miss MJ
    December 5, 2023 at 2:21 pm #1126953

    Low stakes question, but I have several tween nieces and nephews – middle school, not yet high school. We’re not really close and I haven’t seen them much this year, but their age is about when I started preferring cash for Christmas, so that’s what I am planning to do for them this year. I was planning to give $100 to each of them plus a smaller personalized fun/stocking stuffer gift-gift. Then I saw a Wish List from one where all the items listed are $200 plus. So…am I totally out of touch and $100 is the 2023 version of 1995’s “Here’s $5 from Grandma, don’t spend it all in one place” or are these wish lists wild? $100 is still a good amount of cash when you’re 10 to 13, or no?

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    Miss MJ
    December 5, 2023 at 2:21 pm #1126954

    I know inflation is out of control, but … bump!

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    Avatar photo
    December 5, 2023 at 2:35 pm #1126955

    I think $100 is generous. Or maybe we are just cheap over here!? (I didn’t think we were!) My boyfriend has four nieces and one nephew, most of whom are in the tween age range (oldest is now 17) and when we buy a gift, I’d say we tend to spend under $50. For gift cards or cash, $50-100 depending on the age and occasion.

    We just spent Thanksgiving with his family and I will say, I cannot relate to his nieces regarding gift expectations. His 12-year-old niece likes Sephora and I guess her parents (boyfriend’s sister and BIL) will buy her nice, higher end brands. Like, brands I use now. She literally got on her knees to beg her grandma — my boyfriend’s mom — to take her to Sephora on Black Friday. At 12, I was dabbling with drugstore products that I saw in teen magazines (and I looked stupid because platforms like YouTube, where I eventually learned how to do my makeup in my early 20s, didn’t exist yet). And all of the nieces and nephews were like, “We’ll send our links to what we want for Christmas.” Wut.

    • This reply was modified 3 months ago by Avatar photoCopa.
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    Avatar photo
    December 5, 2023 at 2:57 pm #1126957

    I think $100 cash is very generous. Maaaaybe to give them the benefit of the doubt, they sent the same list to their parents? Have you chatted with your siblings? $200 for several niblings adds up!

    I think when I was younger my aunts and uncles drew our names and our price range was maybe $30? I have about 10 cousins for maybe 5 aunts/uncles.

    My niblings are 5 and 2. I spend maybe $50 on them.

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    Miss MJ
    December 5, 2023 at 4:31 pm #1126958

    Thanks, guys! I didn’t think I was that out of touch. But then I saw the list and since I don’t have kids, I was caught off guard. @Copa: Sephora and Lululemon sets made the list. I was definitely not on a name brand basis with athleisure wear and expensive make up when I was a tween. Kids these days…shakes fist… (rolls eyes at self)


    @hfantods
    : Absolutely. There are 7 of them, but three are still littles and we can get them less expensive gifts they’ll enjoy. Even so, though, $200 a pop would add up. (Hell, $100 each does, but it’s Christmas, so, whatever.) Especially since over the last couple of years, the older nibs themselves have gotten pretty lax at saying thank you or sending thank you notes…or emails…or messages..or texts…or whatever. But that’s another Yes, I Am Old Rant, I suppose.

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    Anonymousse
    December 5, 2023 at 5:40 pm #1126959

    Wow, that is a lot to me, but maybe you could give them gift cards in the amount towards the purchase of their $200 athleisure suit that I really hope they don’t grow out of? That is wild.

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    Avatar photo
    December 5, 2023 at 9:06 pm #1126960

    I have a 12-year-old and he is thrilled with $100 cash gift, which he sometimes gets from his grandparents (aunts and uncles spend less – closer to $50). I’ll try o get a crisp hundred dollar bill if we do a cash gift and that always goes over well.

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    December 5, 2023 at 10:06 pm #1126961

    I spend $50ish on my three nieces and one nephew. Sometimes less. Sometimes a little more. And I’m super close to all of them.

    I know my close friend spends about $20 on her nieces and nephews. She also has 4 of them.

    I think you’re very generous MissMJ! And I like your idea of cash and something small/fun.

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    LisforLeslie
    December 6, 2023 at 8:34 am #1126964

    I think this is the foundational time for a tween/teenager to understand how much things “cost” in terms of effort and time. When I was this age my mom set cost limits on how much she was willing to spend on an article of clothing. If I went over that limit, I had to pay 50% of the item, not the balance. So if she was willing to pay $25 for pants and I wanted a pair of $70 pants, she would buy them but put them in her closet until I paid her $35. Sometimes it was to my advantage, sometimes not so much. If a shirt was set at $20 but I wanted something that was $30, I paid $15.

    Anyway, I gave my nephew a crisp $100 for his birthday and he was delighted. Your nieces and nephews might be spoiled or they might not have basic concepts of cost/effort yet.

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    Anonymousse
    December 6, 2023 at 10:03 am #1126965

    Yeah, $100 is a lot. My mom gives that to my kids and the first time, I made them save half. I’m not sure what the aunts do- one of my SILs probably spends $50/kid and asks me what they are into. One of my SILs always gets us a membership to something on Black Friday and that’s pretty fun. Then all year round it’s not a big deal to go to the aquarium, zoo or art museum on a whim.

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    Avatar photo
    December 6, 2023 at 10:12 am #1126966

    Not to totally threadjack, but if anyone has any gift ideas for girls ages 10, 12, 13, and 17 that isn’t cash or high end athleisure (I know Lululemon would go over really well but omg I run (okay I jog but sometimes I go really far) and still can barely justify the occasional high quality legging for myself), I’m all ears! I have enjoyed being involved in the gift shopping/giving for the nieces, but as they get older, I feel like it’s harder to knock it out of the park.

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    LisforLeslie
    December 6, 2023 at 10:57 am #1126967

    What’s the price range and do you know if they have any particular areas of interest?

    I’m thinking things like indoor gardening kits, makeup kits or things like manicure kits or face masks, craft kits for the younger ones maybe (like make your own nail polish or jewelry making kit).

    Matching bracelets or earrings if you want it to be even-ish or something.

    Etsy and Buzzfeed shopping would be my first stops.

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Turn Down That Music and Get Off My Lawn Moment?

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