Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

unusual relationship pet peeves?

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  • #849236 Reply
    avatarcdobbs
    Guest

    anybody have any unusual relationship pet peeves?…mine is when you are going out and shower and do your hair and makeup and when you are looking all nice and then your man starts kissing or touching you so that your hair and makeup gets all messed up….i know it should be flattering that they are attracted to you….but all your hard work gets messed up!

    #849904 Reply
    avatarallathian
    Guest

    Sounds pretty normal to me! Or at least I’m the same.

    I’m also not a big touchy-feely person in any case, so I don’t like it when my husband wants a kiss or a hug when I’m focusing on something else. It doesn’t matter if I’m folding laundry, emptying the dishwasher, reading or playing a game on my cellphone, he needs to attract my attention in words before touching me. Or else I’ll just tell him to leave me alone.

    #849917 Reply
    avatarcdobbs
    Guest

    Nice to know i’m not alone….thaks allathian

    #849920 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    There could be something controlling and possessive about that kind of behavior you mentioned in your first post. I could see a guy doing that in a way like, “you’re mine, you dress up for ME, for my eyes only, and I’ll show you that by messing you up right now so you don’t go out looking like that.” I’m not saying that’s your S/O’s intention, but some guys are like that.

    Guys I’ve dated or married know not to mess with my look once I’ve done my hair and makeup. I’m either going out or going to work, I spent time looking good, and let’s not fuck with that until I’ve gone out and done what I planned to do. You can set boundaries if you don’t like that.

    #849971 Reply
    avatarcdobbs
    Guest

    You just stated exactly how I felt Kate….thanks for that….I know it sounds pathetic but I actually felt guilty for complaining about it

    #849972 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I would just state plainly that you worked hard to look good and you’re not gonna mess it up. He needs to know the time to fool around is after you get home, or idk whenever you two like to get it on.

    If he pushes it, especially if you’re going out without him, that’s a problem.

    #850117 Reply

    Not picking up after themselves, or just general uncleanliness.

    I’ve only ever been with one person who I suffered through this with (most other people seemed to have a good solid idea that they clean up a mess that they make). An ex of mine seemed incapable of putting empty water bottles in the bin (they would stack up on the bedside table). He would leave his clothes on the floor after changing out of them (rather than put them in the laundry basket which was within arms reach of him). He would put his used plates/bowls/cutlery on the side above the dishwasher instead of inside it. And I’m not even going to mention that state I would find the toilet in multiple times a week that would have been left like it if I didn’t clean it up.

    Oddly he was personally VERY clean. Showered every day. Great oral hygiene. Washed his hands before eating. But picking up after himself seemed impossible.

    (It’s one of the many things I don’t miss since I ended the relationship lol).

    He did quite a few other things wrong too, hence my ending it – but that one oddly always stuck out to me and really rubbed me the wrong way.

    #850179 Reply
    avatarcdobbs
    Guest

    that actually bothers me too Andrea….i dated someone when i was in grad school and he was exactly like that….the last straw was when he stayed in my apartment while i went home for christmas break and when i came home the place was trashed (even a hole smashed through the wall….broken lamp….stained carpet) and of course i had to clean up and pay for all the damage….grrrr!

    #850264 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    All of my pet peeves are controlling behaviors. I don’t want to to be monitored or manipulated.

    I’m very tidy & my husband is a slob. It actually doesn’t bother me. He pulls his weigh around the house & is a fantastic dad, probably why I don’t mind picking up his belt daily. Also, I don’t work outside of the home. I have the time

    #850269 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    Oh man. All of my boyfriends have been tidier than I am. I’m not dirty or unclean or in any way gross, but I can be messy. (In my mind, these are very different!) My place always looks lived in, is how I describe it to people. One of my friends who just got married, her place and car can get a bit gross. One time I actually refuse to sit in her passenger seat because there was so much fast food trash and soda cans on the floor. I’ve always wondered where her now-husband falls on the cleanliness spectrum cause I don’t know that I could handle living with someone like that.

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