Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Volunteer drama

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This topic contains 15 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Donna 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #837897 Reply

    Thanks all. I’m not usually an anxious person, but this is really stressing me out! We have a meeting tonight, and I think she likely won’t show. I put out some potential plans and she didn’t respond. If she doesn’t show, I have to escalate, which I’ve tried to avoid doing. She owes the troop $140 for cookie sales and is still our treasurer. I have no intention of resigning but was hoping to resolve this more easily. It bothers me a little that she will think poorly of me for taking the steps I need to resolve the problem, when if it were anyone else, she’d be much harsher that I’m being. I know she’s got a story in her head – last time we texted she told me that I was sneaky, which is so untrue it is funny instead of insulting. I think she feels like it is “her” troop since she was the first co-leader, when really it belongs to the girls and we’re facilitating.

    Rereading this, it sounds like the drama thickens, but it really isn’t like that…

    No one knows about this but her, me, the area manager and a 3rd co-leader that joined recently. The girls and other parents don’t have any idea. I didn’t mention the 3rd co-leader because I don’t think it matters much. I’m sure it is part of the reason that she’s mad at me, but not speaking to me about it isn’t productive. The 3rd co-leader was an unhappy parent in another troop and the area manager matched us up as she knew that we needed additional help. I really didn’t mean for this to be dramatic – I figured that we needed the help and we talked about it and I thought she was ok with it. Before this she was missing almost every other meeting, and I thought it was fair to get some more help! It is tough to get parent volunteers, so 3 co-leaders is rare, but it is recommended, so it isn’t like I was trying to push her out.

    #837991 Reply

    We have a calendar that our leaders publish for the semester. This could help alleviate your co-leader saying she doesn’t know what is going on.

    As to her owing cookie money, there is a path to report her so that the troop will not be responsible for those funds. If she is the treasurer and is just holding the cookie money, you could have a problem.

    Does she hold the bank account solely? (I would never recommend one person having sole control of the bank account. Too many abuses happen this way!)

    #838068 Reply

    Is this something you want to be doing or something you’re doing as a favor? Because I don’t know that there are “strategies” that can stop her from acting like a petulant child. If it were me and I were just doing this to be helpful, I’d probably just bow out and tell her that I can’t do the job if she’s making it that difficult. If it’s something you want to be doing, then hopefully some the advice here will help.

    #838990 Reply

    This is why I don’t volunteer for anything but my own church’s events, where drama and cattiness are generally kept to a minimum. Seriously, I would *lose my stuff* if I volunteered my time/energy to someone and then they treated me badly.

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