Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

wanting to make ex friend jealous. its killing me.

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice wanting to make ex friend jealous. its killing me.

This topic contains 9 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by avatar Sapphire 3 weeks, 4 days ago.

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  • #841440 Reply
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    brookeley s

    so basically in high school i had a couple of good friends. however one of my friends was not a good friend to me. she talked behind my back, told all of my secrets, lied to me, and basically blindsided me the whole duration of our friendship.this friend was basically in love with my other friend (both girls). my friend was not into her that way tho and didn’t even rly like her as a friend. this is because the girl was very very possessive of her and would not let her talk to anyone else or have any friends. she wanted to be with her 24/7 and got super jealous if anyone even looked at my friend. fast forward to now, the girl who was in love with my friend is no longer in either of our lives. but me and the girl she loved are bffs. i want nothing more then to rub it in our ex friends face that im the girls new bff and she got totally kicked to the curb. i want to post pics on social media and make her sooo jealous and angry to get back at her bc of how she treated me and let her know i won in the end bc the girl she “loved” is now my bff. ik this is soo immature and stupid. i don’t want advice on how to make her jealous, i want advice on how to forget about her and stop the feeling of wanting to make her jealous, bc its stupid. Thanks!!

    #841441 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    How do you get over it? You just do. Keep telling yourself that it’s immature and stupid, it’s taking up space in your head that you could be using for things that are actually important, and carrying through with it is going to make your BFF think *you’re* immature and stupid, and she will no longer be your friend. You know that childish revenge might make you feel better for about 5 minutes, and then it will blow up in your face and make everyone who finds out about it lose all respect for you.

    In the immortal words of Elsa….let it go.

    #841442 Reply
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    ron

    Remind yourself that you are an adult now. If that doesn’t work and you still want to engage in this sort of juvenile revenge, remind yourself again that you are supposed to be adult now. Therapy is your next step, but you also might remind yourself that coming from an adult your plans sounds very homophobic.

    #841443 Reply
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    brookeley s

    what i said has nothing to do with being gay or anything to do with being homophobic. i am not homophobic. I don’t care that my ex friend was in love with my now bff, i only want to make her jealous because she was a horrible toxic friend to me.

    #841452 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Do you really think your ex-friend will care that you’re mad at her? All you’re going to accomplish with this revenge scheme is to make a fool of yourself.

    #841472 Reply
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    MaltaKano

    The way you “win” with people who have hurt you isn’t to hurt them back or to flaunt your success – it’s to let them take up less and less space in your brain. You’re spending a lot of energy hating her, which is still her winning. Try your best not to indulge these negative feelings and just move on.

    #841474 Reply
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    Kate

    I think you’re at a point where you really need to talk to a professional. You’ve written in several times in a week or two with some variation of being depressed, jealous, worthless, and a lot of different feelings about this one single friend. If you’re in college you’ve got access to mental health professionals. Use it! Sort this stuff out with someone who gets it and can help you figure out healthy steps to take.

    #841516 Reply
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    Logan

    Sounds like this girl never grew up from her high school mentality. The ex friend is out of the relationship, why are you going to bring her back into the picture again? What if she is some sicko and starts coming back into your lives and starts spreading hate and lies and rumours and just making your life hell l over again. I would just move on and leave this behind, because if you don’t? You will come to regret it, also grow the fuck up while you’re at it, playing this childish shit at your age.

    #841522 Reply

    You need to get busy with your own life. Dwelling on this is just going to make you bitter and probably push your friend away. Revenge rarely gives any satisfaction the way you wish it would. Why give this any more space in your life?

    Get a job, volunteer, take a class, join a gym. And redirect your thoughts when you have them.

    #841849 Reply
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    Sapphire

    Look at it from the perspective of a friend. No one wants to be used for a revenge plot. No one wants to be used to make someone else jealous. It would make me feel disgusted and disappointed. All that time and energy focused on the ex-friend could be used on something else like painting, hiking, or some other hobby you prefer. You could be working or volunteering. Get busy and forget about this person.

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