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Weird signals

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  • #962375 Reply
    avatarAngie
    Guest

    Hello, so this is what is happening to me right now and i really don’t know how to read these signals. Last year I met a guy, he’s a son of my fathers friend and we talked and hanged out. We live in different countries so we continued our communication by texting and he told me he was going to come to my city soon, after some time he sent me a screenshot of his plane ticket. Also he broke off a 5 year relationship (not because of me, before we met) so I constantly asked him if it’s really over and he said that it is. After everyday texting he just stopped and i was wondering what’s wrong and is he gonna come to my coty or not so i texted him but he started ghosting me. After some time i saw him with his ex girlfriend in my city and i was really pissed off so i texted him insulting messages and he still ghosted me. After few months i wrote him that i can’t be mad anymore and that i don’t even care, i moved on, and he decided to block me (when i’m acting nice, not when i’m insulting him) . After a while i went on my summer vacation again and he’s now there, in the same city, we had some dinners together because of our dads and he talks to me like nothing happened in fact he’s too nice. But now he constantly makes plans with me when he sees me on the street and he’s the one who starts asking if i wanna go somewhere, not me, but no matter how many times i told him “ok let me know over messages” he still doesn’t text me, and today is the fourth time he made plans and i told him “yes but really text me” and he didn’t. I think it’s attention seeking or something so i’m planning to mess with him next time i see him but what do you think? I never met a person this pathetic.

    #962377 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    He has a girlfriend but likes attention.

    #962378 Reply
    avatarMiss MJ
    Guest

    @Kate nailed it. Forget this guy.

    #962381 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    He likes attention, he likes keeping the visits with both your fathers drama free.

    #962387 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    “I never met a person this pathetic” — you mean him? or yourself?

    Why would you AGREE to hang out with this guy who ghosted you for months? Why would you say Yes to any plans he suggested?!?! It’s fairly simple to say: “No, thanks, I don’t think that’ll work out.” That’s all you have to do. You don’t have to say Yes to every single thing anyone asks you to do, nor do you have to insult them. Just say: “Ah, no thanks.” The End.

    #962400 Reply
    avatarAnge
    Guest

    You bugged him constantly about whether or not he’d broken up with the girlfriend and then messaged him mean things when you saw them together even though there’s no indication they are actually still dating and you’re surprised he ghosted you? But you are still texting and talking to him? At this stage I think you two deserve each other. So much pointless drama…

    #962467 Reply
    avatarAngie
    Guest

    You are absolutely right, that’s my weakness that i like him for a long time and our family connections are not making it easier, so i guess i was tryibg to be positive and give him another chance

    #962468 Reply
    avatarAngie
    Guest

    You don’t get it, he was openly telling me that he wants to get with me yet he still had a fresh ended relationship, I didn’t want to get my heart broken so whenever he said something about her i asked him if it’s over and he told me that he’ll come to my city because of me then ghosts me and brings her and yes i know they were back together for sure over social media and from what i saw

    #962469 Reply
    avatargolfer.gal
    Guest

    Then you have all the information you need. He’s shady and is dating someone else. I’m not exactly sure what you mean by “mess with him”, but that’s a bad idea and will make you look immature, way too invested, and desperate. He’s not into you. A guy who was even the slightest bit interested would have texted to make solid plans a looong time ago. Say “no thanks” when he next says you should make plans, and I bet once he sees he can’t get any more attention from you he drops the whole thing.

    #962473 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    “i asked him if it’s over and he told me that he’ll come to my city because of me then ghosts me …”

    It was at this point that you AGREED TO MEET UP WITH HIM AGAIN. At that point, you had all the information you needed, but you’re still trying to “read signals.” He’s a loser, but you’re still entertaining this? Why?

    Not sure why you think we don’t get it. It’s all very clear.

    #962474 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    @Angie – we do get it. We don’t think you get it.

    As far as I can tell he’s doing one of two things:
    1. He’s keeping you on the line in case things with someone else don’t work out. You’re a backup. You’re not even a side piece. You’re there in case everyone else figures out he’s a schmuck. You deserve more than being strung along.
    2. He’s too chicken shit to tell you that he’s not really interested so he says nice things then ghosts you. He doesn’t do it to spare your feelings – he wouldn’t ghost you if he cared about your feelings. He doesn’t it because he doesn’t want to deal with making anyone upset. No one wants to be the bad guy, so he just keeps you at arms length because it’s easier. It’s cowardly.

    Personally – I think it’s #2. If he really wanted to see you, he would. Sorry to be harsh, but you keep making excuses as if his words are more important than his actions (they’re not). Words are easy. Actions are much harder.

    #962475 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I think he just likes the attention and knowing someone is interested in him and feeling like he has options. But he likes having a girlfriend more.

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