Tagged: teacher school teenager love
I’ve known him for 3 years and I’ve always had a crush on him but then my feelings gradually turned into love. I know that nothing is ever going to happen between us and that’s what makes me miserable. I cried almost every night in the last few months and I have a hard time concentranting on other stuff. I deeply admire, respect and care for him and it hurts me that to him I am just another student which he’ll probably forget. What is more, he always seemed to appreciate my friend more..The truth is that she better than me in almost every way..she is very smart, outgoing, she reads a lot and she plays guitar and they listen to the same music. What is more, she even became friends with his daughter and that got her even closer to him. She also has a little crush on him but it’s not as serious as mine. I love my friend and I don’t want to act jealous but it’s really hurting me. I can’t really talk to her about it because I don’t want her to feel guilty. It got to a point where almost everything I wonder what he would think and if he would appreciate me if I do that thing. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I was thinking to go to the school counselor but I’m afraid he’s going to tell my teacher. What do you think I should do? I forgot to mention that he never did anything to encourage these feelings, he never acted inappropriate towards me or other students. I just happened to fall for him because he’s one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met until now. Please help me with some advice.JDJune 2, 2018 at 1:54 pm #754963
It seems you are in high school so um, ya that’s called illegal. He does not like you or your friend. Do not go to your school counselor. Having a crush on someone is fine, even if they are a bit older, it happens but you are a child and this is an adult. I am assuming you are a child, it is pretty clear based on your writing style…even if you are in college, which I don’t believe you are, there are pretty strict policies regarding professors and students so again, nothing will be happening. You need to focus on people your own age who you know, won’t go to jail.IreneJune 2, 2018 at 1:56 pm #754965
I am in 11th grade.
Wait until you are in college and talk to him about it then. He won’t be you teacher when your in college.
There will be more opportunities in college for you to meet great people then you might not focus on him that much.
You didn’t mention if this teacher has a family wife children etc??JDJune 2, 2018 at 2:32 pm #754974
Right, so, illegal. You shouldn’t even want to be with a grown man who would be interested in you. So not ok.
There’s really not any reason to be jealous of your friend, and it’s not fair to her. The teacher isn’t interested in either one of you that way. I don’t say this to be mean, but normal men his age aren’t into dating teenagers.
The only thing to do to get over a crush is to distract yourself. If you find yourself thinking about him, make a conscious effort to do something else that occupies your mind. Homework, reading a book, catching up on a show on Netflix, a hobby, anything.
The good news is, crushes don’t last. Especially at your age. He may be the most interesting guy you’ve met so far, but there are lots and lots more interesting men in your future. And someone who likes you back, that you can go on dates with, is WAY more interesting than a teacher who’s just being nice to his students.
I read your question to my husband, who is a high school teacher, and he was horrified and disgusted. Teachers do not think of students romantically or sexually. EVER. They think of you as children, over whom they are in a position of authority. This man must be quite a bit older than you if he has a child close to your age. There would be something seriously wrong with him if he were ever to be interested in you.
I know that feelings are incredibly intense at your age (we’ve all been there), but what you are feeling is not love, it is infatuation which is turning into an unhealthy obsession. Love is born of intimacy, when two people share their personal lives with one another, and slowly grows deeper with time. Infatuation is so intense that it feels like love, but it is one-sided and superficial. You don’t truly know the other person, you build up a fantasy in your mind of who you think they are. You do not know the real him.
The advice to wait until you’re in college and then talk to him is bad. Graduating will not change the fact that you were once his student. If you are seriously crying every night and jealous of your friend (whom he also sees as a child), then you should get into therapy as soon as possible to deal with your obsession before it affects your grades. In the meantime, try redirecting your thoughts. The more you obsess, the more you feed the obsession. Every time you catch yourself thinking of him, think of something else. You will have to do this over and over. Eventually, as you put less time and energy into it, your infatuation will fade.
Any adult man who would date someone your age is a bad person. Plenty of people have feelings for someone they shouldn’t or are not going to pursue. Instead of sitting around and letting yourself spend lots of time thinking about him, find ways to distract yourself and actively think of something else when you find yourself thinking about it. You can’t control your thoughts, but you can stop yourself from spending excessive amounts of time just thinking about him. Over time, you’ll move on.Sushi LizardJune 2, 2018 at 9:12 pm #755054
You are only in 11th grade and I can assure you that feelings will come and go. It’s great that you find him an admirable person and such, but don’t take any drastic actions that could somehow hinder your teacher’s or your own education experience. At least wait until you’re 18 and then see if you still like him.. although he sounds like he’s married and you probably shouldn’t dabble in that either. Meet some new people and distract yourself!JDJune 2, 2018 at 9:19 pm #755055
No do not wait until you are 18. Ignore that advice yet again. It comes from someone who also is making bad choices. You are a child. He does not want anything to do with you in a romantic way. IF he did or by chance does he is a pedophile. If he even does as soon as you are 18 he still is a deviant who just would happen to get past the law.
Okay, first of all this isn’t love, it’s a teenage crush mixed with maybe sexual attraction. Add that into your raging hormones, a close girlfriend who also see his attractive qualities and this is where you end up. Nothing is wrong with you! But you need to never act on this type of inappropriate idea.
And Lucidity, that’s absolutely not true. Many, many predator types go into careers (especially education) just in order to swoop up naive and unsuspecting kids. Most teachers are good people, but not all. Many teachers are not virtuous.
So, Irene, I doubt he feels that way, but if he ever gave a hint of interest, that’s when you know he’s not a good man.
Distance yourself, get more involved in activities your enjoy with people your own age and you’ll meet more age appropriate men when you are ready.
You’ll find men who have the same qualities you are attracted to, but also in a similar age/life era as you. That will be a much better match than an old man with kids your age.