AnonymousseMay 13, 2023 at 3:05 pm #1120366
I have a daughter and son and it doesn’t take courage to care and love them.
You seem very, very self focused. Maybe to your own detriment.AnonymousseMay 13, 2023 at 3:07 pm #1120367
It doesn’t sound like you are “doing the work” in therapy, though. What is your therapist challenging you with? Every two weeks is often enough for major growth and work done.AnonymousseMay 13, 2023 at 3:17 pm #1120368
Ahh, I found your other post. You suffer from depression, which makes you not act in ways to get the life you want, and apathy about hat as well. You feel like it’s impossible so you make no move to change. You can’t change your life until you focus on your issues and get out of your ex husbands eye sight.
Are you even in therapy? Are you really on meds? If you are- the doctors you are seeing are not helping you and you need to call them and tell them how you really feel. Try a different antidepressant. Try a different therapist because I can’t see at all what this therapist is doing for you, could you maybe explain if you do work on shit in therapy? It sounds like you have a lot of simple issues a pro should easily be able to point out to you, at the very least.
You shouldn’t be crowdsourcing opinions about what you clinically suffer from, because plenty of people will tell you. I mean, I did, and 8 am not a Dr. Just also a mom with depression, but I am on a good combo of meds right now and I love my therapist. She challenges me and has helped me grow so much.
Don’t settle for less than what you pay for.JessyMay 13, 2023 at 4:40 pm #1120371
“Why are your weeks so different? Why do you live your life like that?”
I think you hit the spot there. And just before reading your comment, I thought about it… maybe the best thing to do would be having the same routine with and without my son. See, I enjoyed my new single life for a few months, at that time i really needed that. but now I think I need stability and to stop this schizophrenic cycle. I will try but I’m not sure I will be able to do it.
And about the therapist, I will think about it. Maybe a man would suit better and tell me without any reserve the things I don’t want to hear aaarrrgghhh.
“How’s the older man romance going, Jessy?”
Going nowhere, thank you for asking haha!
But still, there’s something wrong with me 😅AnonymousseMay 13, 2023 at 5:55 pm #1120373
That’s your core belief about yourself. That there is someth8ng wrong with you.
There’s nothing wrong with you. But you need a good therapist to help you figure out why you do know what you want, who you are or what makes you happy. You’ve found all the things that don’t make you happy.
I don’t think needing a man as a therapist is necessary. Why would a man be needed? You just need a good therapist, period. Yours does what, with you?AnonymousseMay 13, 2023 at 5:55 pm #1120374
Not know what you wantAnonymousseMay 13, 2023 at 5:56 pm #1120375
What steps have you taken to move away from the same street as your controlling ex?JessyMay 14, 2023 at 5:09 am #1120376
Maybe I will try to change our topics with my therapist. Lately we have been talking mainly about my social interactions. Maybe time to go deeper and figure out who I am. Maybe the divorce drained me a lot of emotional energy. And after dealing with my sons and my exes emotions, here I am now, not even knowing what I want. Last year in January I was completely depressed, i took medication and some days off. It helped me a lot, and then began the dating phase which was fun. Now i feel tired, bored and I don’t know who I am. You are right. I did accepted that I have changed, the hobbies I once had, don’t interest me anymore. So I just do nothing.
I will start planning. Definitely that’s a good advice. I will plan and organize every day being with or without my son!JessyMay 14, 2023 at 5:13 am #1120377
I still live in the same street. But it’s not such a problem. My ex found a girlFriend and he is more relaxed. Also I had some discussions with him about the boundaries we have to set towards each other.
I have been living in that appartement for two years and my boy stared to feel like home since only a few month now. I won’t change…
I would just caution you that if you find the planning and organizing isn’t working for you, don’t beat yourself up. Like, yes, it gives you a sense of control and it can be really effective to hold yourself accountable, but you may need chemical help even getting motivated to do it. Most or all of us on here are not mental health professionals, but with your history I am skeptical that you’re not suffering from depression right now.
But yeah, to fix your financials, the recommended first step is to just start writing down everything you spend your money on for a couple months and get a sense of your patterns, where you could cut back, and how much you spend in relation to how much income you bring in and how much you save.JessyMay 14, 2023 at 8:35 am #1120379
In the beginning, when I started to live alone I did calculated everything. I knew exactly how much money I had to end the month. Then I took a credit last year because I had some unexpected expenses. And since then I just lost control. I asked for a little bit more than I really needed just to have some extra money in case. I still have that extra money but somehow I rather keep it than having my bills paid on time. I think it makes me anxious to return to a place where I have to think about saving my money or not being able to end the month without concern. Before my marriage I had the same pattern of differing until last minute and even beyond. My therapist says people have different warnings, some would wait extreme last minute and some would have it all paid on time. But she hasn’t been able to tell me why I act this way. Last week, they cut my electricity as i didn’t pay. The next day I paid directly because I had the money to do it. Why am I putting myself in these situations? I really don’t know. Is it self sabotage or fear of missing out… or is it because I’m not capable of taking my responsibilities? I’m trying to find some answers of people who did the same. A friend of mine, who has the same problem told me someday he did so because money and bills were the least of his concern as he had many other issues to deal with…