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What if your boyfriend trys to use his police friends to get u in trouble?

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This topic contains 36 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by bittergaymark Bittergaymark 6 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #830458 Reply
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    Andrea

    My sister’s car has been in the shop for a while now, her boyfriend (that she’s been on rocky terms with…) decided to lend her his vehicle a week ago. She lives in New Jersey, the boyfriend lives close by, but in Pennsylvania. Now, because of an argument, he demands that she return his car. She told him that it is in the parking lot of her apartment complex and that the keys are in it, “Come get your car .” He was not satisfied with this answer, probably because he wanted to force a confrontation so he would get to see and talk to her. So he threatened to report the car stolen. My sister ended up having my mother also send him a text message last night, saying “I’m sorry things are not working out between u and my daughter, these things happen… please stop threatening her and just pick up your car.” Now today my mother gets a phone call from a police officer who says that my sister needs to return the car to her boyfriend’s house or to the police station in his town in PA. My mom asked why he is even calling her and says that she does not want to be involved in all of this. The officer says that he has met with my sister’s boyfriend and read his text messages, and he knows my mother texted him about the car last night, and so now she is involved. To me, this all seems nutty and I suspect this police officer must be a friend of the boyfriends. It seems crazy to me that a cop would get this involved in this kind of a civil matter… but the call definitely came from the police station. He told her that the car needs to be returned
    to the boyfriend’s house or to the police station by 7pm, or it will be reported stolen. My sister doesn’t even feel comfortable getting in the car and driving it now if it may be reported stolen, nor does she feel like she should have to drop everything today and rush the car over to Pennsylvania when he lent her the car and is now just throwing a tantrum and trying to get her in trouble out of spite. The whole thing seems ridiculous, but this is what’s happening… What should she do? Leave the car where it’s at in her apartment parking lot? Bring it to the police station?

    #830460 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    I mean, he asked her to return it and she refused so he reported it stolen. That’s how it works. You think the cops wouldn’t get involved in a civil matter? do you have any concept what cops do?? Do you know they actually have CIVIL OFFICERS! Tell your sister to stop playing damn games and return the car. When you borrow someone’s car you return it to them, not tell them where it is and act like a brat. She is 100% in the wrong and you are too for thinking she is right. She’d rather get arrested to just prove her point? What an idiot.

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by avatar JD.
    #830464 Reply
    Lucidity
    Lucidity

    Your sister is completely in the wrong here. When you borrow something from someone, it is your responsibility to return it when they ask for it, even if you disagree with why they’re asking. It is not throwing a tantrum or ridiculous to get upset when someone refuses to return valuable personal property, especially if he needs it to get around. That is the same as stealing, and yes, that’s the time to get the police involved. Your sister 100% brought this on herself.

    If the call came from a police station, your sister should assume the car will be reported stolen at 7pm as your mother was told. If she’s afraid of seeing her ex, she should drive it to the police station like the officer suggested, and take someone with her. She should text her ex to let him know she’s returning the car so there is proof that she’s bringing it back on the off-chance she gets pulled and it’s already been reported.

    #830467 Reply

    She should return it. Have your mom, or you or someone go with her.

    I agree, she borrowed the car, she should return it. It’s ridiculous that it’s gone this far, but wouldn’t you rather return the car vs. getting charged with a crime?

    #830468 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    If he’s using his car to try to force her to talk to him in person and she thinks that she wouldn’t be safe doing that she should call her local police department. Her texts show that the car wasn’t stolen, it was lent. There is a big difference. The texts also show she wasn’t trying to keep it. If she fears for her safety then she calls her local police department and asks them how she should handle the situation. Maybe she can leave the car at her local police station. Maybe she can set a time for him to pick up the car and she has the local police with her when he arrives.

    #830469 Reply

    But he’s asking for his car back. If she doesn’t give it back, I really doubt it will be considered borrowed by the police.
    The police told her to leave it at the station. That seems like a reasonable idea.

    #830470 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    The police can’t expect you to place yourself in danger to return an item. She needs to talk to the local police and see what they tell her to do.

    She could drop the car off near where he lives and then tell him it was returned but not tell him until after she is gone.

    #830472 Reply
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    ele4phant

    You don’t need to be involved – this isn’t your drama.

    That said, now that you are, your sister needs to return the car. It does not belong to her, the rightful owner asked for it back, she has not returned it. Legally speaking, she is in the wrong here.

    If she doesn’t want to see her boyfriend, she should follow the officer’s instructions and return the car to the police station. Or she could ask someone else (a friend, your mom, you?) to coordinate with him to get the car back to him.

    But she does need to get the car back to him. Its not her car.

    And they should probably break-up for good.

    #830473 Reply
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    ele4phant

    @skyblossom, sounds like the police have already called her and told her she has the option of returning the car to the police station by a certain time. So she should do that.

    If she does feel unsafe (not clear that she does – just that she feels scared she’s going to get pulled over and arrested for driving a car that has been reported stolen), she could bring someone with her and then she should file a restraining order going forward.

    #830474 Reply
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    ele4phant

    @skyblossom, also while the text messages may show the car was originally lent, they will also show he has since asked the car be returned, and so far, that request was not fulfilled. Pretty sure legally speaking its considered stealing if you don’t return something that doesn’t belong to after you’ve been asked.

    #830475 Reply
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    Fyodor
    Member

    I don’t think that that is right. I am not a criminal lawyer but assuming that he lent it to her legitimately, neither of New Jersey or Pennsylvania require her to return it him. Assuming that she’s not driving it or keeping him from taking it back, I don’t think she can be charged with stealing just because she’s not driving it back to him.

    There may be civil liability and it may still be worth it to return it to make this go away.

    https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/auto-theft-laws-pennsylvania.htm

    https://herringdefense.com/motor-vehicle-theft/

    #830476 Reply

    The police told her to leave it at the station. That seems like a reasonable idea.

    That’s not putting herself in harm’s way.

    And honestly, he hasn’t threatened violence in any way based on the post. I think it’s a stretch to say that her returning the car is placing her in harm’s way.

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