Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

What should I do?

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar dinoceros 2 months ago.

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  • #830353 Reply
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    Biscuit

    I WAS in a mutual relationship with a batchmate until December of last year when I decided to break it off. I made it clear to him at that point that I still like him, and that my reasons for doing so included my problems in handling relationships, committing being nowhere in my plans, and my ongoing family issue that caused me to think i should focus more on my family. Besides that, i never considered putting a label in our relationship, because i thought i’m still immature for these things. Now, we have grown distant and we don’t interact anymore. However, a friend told me that I can still bring us back together, BUT i only have until the end of this month to fix things. Yes, i still like him. However, i feel troubled enough with the thought that i already hurt him and that he is already in the process of moving on. I’m so confused. I want to fix our relationship even without the label, and at the same time, I already accept our situation right now and the consequences entailed to my decision. What should I do?

    #830354 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    Why the heck would you have only until the end of the month?

    #830366 Reply
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    ron

    This isn’t a friend, this is an agent of your ‘ex’ delivering an ultimatum on his behalf. You should welcome a total separation from him. this was a chickenshit move on his part and your friend should be ashamed for participating.

    #830367 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    Leave it. You broke up for a reason and that hasn’t changed. Your ex is totally communicating through your friend and that’s really lame on both their parts. Focus on yourself and family. When you’re more ready to date you can.

    #830370 Reply

    You want to be in a relationship with this person but don’t want the relationship part? I think you need to do some soul-searching and define what it is you’re looking for.

    What is the issue? Is it the truly just the label you don’t like? Is it that you don’t want to be monogamous with anyone? Why do these feelings make you think you’re immature?

    This are things you’ll have to define and figure out going forward if you want to be successful dating in the future, whether it’s with this person or anyone else.

    #830372 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    First I looked up batchmate.

    Noun. batchmate (plural batchmates) (India) classmate. (Chiefly South Asian and Philippine English) A member of the same graduation class as another. (Chiefly South Asian and Philippine English) A member of a batch.

    If I’m understanding what you wrote you don’t want a committed relationship and you don’t want to be boyfriend/girlfriend but you would like the relationship you had before?

    If the two of you want different things from the relationship then you aren’t compatible and you shouldn’t try to rekindle it. If they want more than you do then leave it alone and let him move on.

    #830374 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Forget this batch mate. You don’t have the time or emotional energy for this, and he doesn’t have the maturity to bridge the gap.

    #830666 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    You listed a lot of reasons why you shouldn’t be in a relationship with him. Just because you miss him or don’t want to be single isn’t a reason to ignore all those.

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