Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

What theeee

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This topic contains 13 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar baccalieu 4 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #742790 Reply

    So my boyfriend of 3 yrs walked out on me today because I said that I would not help him pay off his debt that he’s had waaayyyy b4 ever meeting me… but let me tell you how all this went about. Since I did my taxes he’s the one who has been checking the status on it all day everyday non stop! he’s been anxious for them to arrive, mind you he is NOT my childrens father, we have no kids together & he doesn’t want to marry me. We have been together for 3 yrs, the 1st 2 yr he never brought me around his friends, he would leave & not come home til 3-4 in the morning thinking that what he did was not wrong, then get mad at me for getting mad at him. Things changed this last yr he brought his friends around me didn’t leave like he used to so I thought FINALLY progress! Nope! I new he changed because tax season was coming up Iam not stupid but he thought I was. ANYWHO my taxes came in today & he was more excited than I was because I knew that a fight was going to happen & sure enough BAM!!! Mind you that I had told him for months not to make plans with MY MONEY! He always said OK he understood. He did his taxes but child support took it all because he owes for a kid he never wants to see. Well not even 20 min from him bringing me my taxes from the mail he starts asking for stuff a new phone, clothe & paying off his debt. I said NO. He got up tore up our apartment packed his all his stuff loaded up his truck & took our TVs that we both bought & left saying that he’s leaving back to cali… I am beyond heart broken because he always assured me that he loved me & wasn’t in this for the money yet every year it’s the same shit!Now my question here is Am I in the wrong for not going half with him… He does help me w/my kids by going to confrences while I am at work while he only works maybe 15 days a month & he refuses to look for a better job. He barely helps with rent & bills but I can’t depend on him I get nervouse everytime rent is due because I am scared that he won’t have his part. He makes me look like the crazy one because i always argue about the sme things…. Is it wrong for me not to helphim or give him any of MY TAXES????

    #742800 Reply

    No, it is not wrong of you to not give him your tax money. If he was only sticking around because he wanted your money he wasn’t worth keeping. The real question here is why did you put up with the way he treated you for the first two years? Why did you move in together when he wasn’t that invested in the relationship? The moving in together was his way of getting you to carry him financially. Why let yourself be used for years?

    Those are the questions you need to ask yourself. Why did you put up with this treatment? Why let someone use you for years?

    #742802 Reply

    Oh my god – you were totally right. This guy has been using you for years and you put up with it? Why? that’s the “What the…?” that I want the answer to.

    He has a child he doesn’t want to see
    He can not pay his own bills
    He wants you to spend your money on his debts
    He tried to manipulate you (you know he would have gone right back to coming home at 3 in the morning)

    None of these things say “He is a good person.”

    I hope if he comes crawling back that you do not take him in. Let the TVs go. They were more important to him than you were.

    #742806 Reply

    Wow. You need to want more for yourself.
    If a man has a child he doesn’t care about, why would you think he’d care about you?

    Why would you stay with someone who was out until 3-4am every night and had never brought his friends to meet you?

    #742807 Reply

    I really hope this is a troll. If not, good god woman. If you don’t want better for yourself at least want better for your children. Keep trashy losers like this away from them. Set a better example for what a relationship should look like.

    #742815 Reply

    Could be a troll, but I liked it. I’m also on a different continent than usual and feeling more easy breezy.

    #742819 Reply

    This guy is a grade A loser. The only good thing is he helps watch your kids while you work to support him. Oh wow. What a stand up guy. My eyes are rolling so far back in my head i may need surgery to fix it. Be glad he is gone and bug yourself a nice new TV with your tax money…and maybe a massage! You dodged a huge bullet here.

    Plus, who wants a man who is greedy, lazy, a bad father who doesn’t even want to marry you? What a gem!

    #742828 Reply

    Sweet Jesus on a skateboard, you think this is how someone acts when they love you? I’m not talking about the tax money, I’m talking about the way it’s been since you got together. I’m so sorry that you value yourself so little that you actually stuck with this guy and let him treat you that way for all those years.

    In a good, loving relationship, the guy can’t wait to show you off to his friends and family. He can’t wait to come home to you at night. He doesn’t stay out till all hours because he wants to be with YOU. Finally being introduced to his friends after two years doesn’t mean you’re making progress. It means you’ve wasted two years on someone who doesn’t respect you, and doesn’t even like you all that much.

    Please, take a break from dating for awhile. Spend some time with a therapist and learn what a good relationship looks like. And then don’t settle for anything less. If not for your sake, then for your kids.

    #742833 Reply

    I love “sweet jesus on a skateboard.” That perfectly captures the level of WTF-ery going on here.

    As for the OP, dude is using you but also lied to you because they don’t tax child support payments. ( Unless what you mean is he didn’t pay his child support so he had to use his tax return to catch up on them. In that case, he’s even more of a winner than we already thought.

    Regardless, AIM HIGHER.

    #742867 Reply

    I think you are asking the wrong question. You should be asking why you stayed in this shitty relationship for so long?
    You even make it a point to highlight all of the shitty things that he’s done in the relationship. So it’s not like you are happy with him.

    Honestly, you should be happy that he packed up and left.

    #742908 Reply

    So what’s your questions, really? A piece of shit treated you like a piece of shit for too long and then thought he was going to get to ride your financial curtail. When you told him no way he packed himself up and moved himself out of your place. YOU ARE EFFING WINNING, GIRL! Now change the locks and move on!


    #743340 Reply

    I’d have to agree. He did you a cavorted by leaving.

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