OK, so last night I deamed in DW. It was crazy weird. What it came down to was me thinking this: You know how we encourage lists? For ourselves? When to MOA. What we want in an SO. What is good about us. Things like that, to help us in our times of ick. I was thinking, if Wendy is having a moment of ick, maybe she needs a list. From us, to remind her (whether the site continues or not) what she’s done for complete strangers. That no matter what happens, she has had considerable impact on the lives of people she wouldn’t recognize walking down the street. If you want to join me in making that list…please go ahead.
I will start though:
Wendy, you taught me that we don’t need permission to leave a relationship. It may not be bad necessarily, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay. That, I believe is something we all need to remember now and again.
- This topic was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Dear Wendy.
I actually wrote in to Wendy and she gave me unbiased advice about dealing with coworkers and friends after I eloped. Her advice let me release the breath/stress I was holding in surrounding my decision.
Beyond that she’s given me (really us) a great community of people to interact with. Reading her letters and advice has made me think about things I never would have otherwise. And likewise interacting with the other commenters has also exposed me to differing viewpoints and forced me to think about things in different ways than I would have before.
I’m sure I could add to this list, but those are the things that stand out to me right now. It’s actually really hard to think of what I did pre Dear Wendy. I feel very lucky to have stumbled upon this site and ‘met’ all of the people on this site!
Wendy taught me that its ok to be nervous when you are making a big decision that will effect the rest of your life. I thought I was a bad person for being nervous and considering the “what-ifs” of marriage and forever, and she helped me see that I will never be 100% sure it will work out and that I should go with my gut. I am now happily married!
She also taught me, from reading her advice every day, when people need tough love and when they need more gentle guidance. I think it has helped me relate better to the people around me.
Finally, she told me the location of a great little bar in NYC that saved me a bunch of money when I finally dragged my sister out of her fancy wine bars and into Rudy’s for $2 beers and free hot dogs!
While I’ve never gleamed any advice from this site I have gained a lot of insight and self-checking with where I align myself on personal and social issues. I think I have always been kind of an empathic person this website has helped me understand different perspectives and enhance that aspect of my personality as well.
Wendy taught me that it’s ok to expect a big love, the real thing, and that it is worth waiting for.
She taught me that having a baby is ridiculously hard, changes everything, but is worth the effort. She taught me that a baby will impact your marriage in a myriad of ways but that some of them are stunning in their awesomeness.
Wendy has taught me that just because you’re emotional, doesn’t mean you’re crazy. And even if you feel crazy, you’re not necessarily crazy.
This is especially relevant because I have cried literally 7 times in the past 24 hours at things like the Yeardley Love updates, Grey’s Anatomy, and my roommate’s story about her appendicitis. And I’m not a crier. But I’m just rolling with it. Crying is actually OK. Feeling stressed out and overwhelmed is OK once in a while.
But Wendy is also teaching me now that even if you don’t think you can give anything up, the world will not end if you take some time for yourself.
Wendy has taught me that it is ok to leave a relationship for any reason if it doesn’t feel right. How to set a timeline for a LDR and that there needs to be an end point. She has taught me that a wedding can be simple, beautiful and CAN be within a reasonable budget. How to handle mother in laws and family issues, that its ok to seek help if needed.
Last year when I needed advice on where to go in New Orleans she gave me a list of her favourites, Commanders Palace was one of them, and I had THE best brunch I have ever had in my life with my S.O and we still remember it as a highlight of our trip.
She has taught me so many things in the last three years since I have been reading her blogs. Her advice is invaluable and I share this advice with my friends and it does hold true.
Wendy, please know that you mean a lot to this community and without you, we wouldn’t have an outlet like we do here. What you are doing is so important and I wanted to thank you for everything. Your advice is like no other and I really appreciate all you have done here and all you have sacrificed to keep this site running.
Wendy has basically taught me how to have a healthy relationship! I have a better idea of what I want from a partner and a better idea of how to communicate it. I’m a LOT less likely to put up with the BS I dealt with in past relationships now that I’m a regular DWer. I also know that I have a form of support through the other DWers if I ever need it. Not to mention, it’s a source of MANY interesting conversation topics…. I’m always like, “Hey, booooooo…. WHAT IF your best friend had no teeth and you wanted him to be your best man but I didn’t want you to have a toothless groomsman, WHAT WOULD YOU DO” or “Hey, booooo,WHAT IF I interacted with dudes/ladies on webcam porn, IS THAT CHEATING?” etc. etc. 🙂