Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

What’s wrong with me?

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by avatar Essie 4 months ago.

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  • #845505 Reply
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    Confused

    I’m seeing a guy. He’s a good guy. Takes care of me. Always wants to see me. Always there for me. Problem is I’m not interested in him. But why? He does everything right. I’ve never been treated so good before.. why do I not see a future with him?

    #845506 Reply

    I think that sometimes attraction just comes down to something primal. Their scent. Some unconscious decision. A person can be good looking, nice, kind, check all the right boxes, but the attraction just isn’t there, and it can’t really be forced.

    Either that, or you unconsciously don’t think you deserve to be happy and you’re sabotaging. Is this something you have a history of? Sabotaging just when things are getting stable?

    Not enough details to judge here. Only you can know.

    #845525 Reply
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    Helen

    How old are you? I’m friends with lots of nice guys I’m not attracted to. Just because someone’s good on paper doesn’t mean they’re good for you. And some people crave the excitement and uncertainty of dating not so nice guys. We all know people who bounce from unstable relationships to unhealthy relationships mistaking anguish for passion. What you want in a partner matters. You’re not going to click with every dude who gives you attention. Dating would be a breeze if that were the case

    #845530 Reply
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    Logan

    There ain’t no spark or chemistry, move on out lady, when you find the right man? You will also be the one who wants to see him, spend time with him and be just as happy as he is to be with you. Nothing wrong with you.

    #845549 Reply

    Being good to you doesn’t make him good for you. It’s kind of the baseline of expectations for a relationship. You need chemistry, sexual attraction, good communication etc.

    #845594 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    Not everyone is attracted to everyone else. Dating isn’t just about meeting a checklist of qualities.

    #845598 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Wanting to see you and treating you well is like the baseline, rock bottom minimum requirement for a second date. It’s not a foundation for a relationship. You have to feel something based on his personality, looks, the chemistry between you, the conversations that you have. Not just liking him because he likes you. And not liking him because he ticks the boxes on a list of requirements.

    I was in a short relationship years ago with a guy who liked me a lot. I liked him too, and we’d have fun on dates and things were great in bed. Real stand-up guy, responsible to a fault, good sense of humor, had a great, stable career.

    We had nothing in common. Nothing to talk about. He had no hobbies. No interests. Didn’t read. Knew nothing about current events. Didn’t like movies. He’d go to work and come home and watch sitcom reruns on TV. We struggled to keep conversations going. I hated myself for hurting him, but I had to break it off. There was just no mental connection at all. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life trying desperately to think of topics for conversation.

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