Home › Forums › Advice & Chat › Who were the “victims” of my father’s patch back in the 1990s?
- This topic has 17 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks ago by Anonymousse.
In my opinion, despite whatever laws he broke LEGALLY, the actions he took were MORALLY correct, and even a bit admirable. (You can do legal things and still affect others, and you can do illegal things without affecting others).
My dad grew a weed patch from the moment he graduated high school in 1982. It was the size of two basketball courts put together, he’d harvest every 90 days, and he used to charge $6,000 per pound; so he was balling and making lots of extra money to SUPPORT and PROVIDE for his wife and their three kids (born 1984, 1986, and 1995). He WASN’T cooking meth or selling dangerous drugs, he WASN’T going out and harassing/hurting people for money or anything, he was WORKING as a FARMER, and selling an expensive crop to WILLFUL buyers and EARNING his money without taking it from or hurting other people.
But then my dad’s sister was married to a guy who really didn’t like our whole family. I’m talking the dude would keep her locked in the house and wouldn’t even let her leave to visit her own parent or brothers. Fuck kinda Rapunzel shit is that? My dad and his brothers used to come to their sister’s house and beat up her husband and his brothers because they wanted to spend time with their sister and take their sister to see their parents, but guy was being a jealous prick and trying to break up our family.
One time, my dad was watching his sister’s son, who was probably no older than 4 or 5 years old (c. 1995-1996), and the kid wanted to have a cool haircut like my two older brothers had, cause he wanted to look cool like the cousins. So my dad was like “sure little buddy, anything to make ya happy”, and he cut his hair cool like the cousins. But then the kid’s jealous prick father got on my dad’s ass like “what fuckin right you get for cut my son’s hair”, and my dad was like “TF you mean, that’s my nephew, I his uncle, we family, we OHANA, that’s my BABY SISTER’s son; THAT’s my fuckin right.” Guy should’ve just let the kid be happy without turning it into something to fight over. Hope my dad kicked that guy’s ass.
That guy stooped to his lowest when he NOT ONLY robbed my dad, but did so WHILE HE WAS WITH HIS WIFE IN THE HOSPITAL (disgusting!). It was 1995, and my dad was off-island in the hospital while his wife was giving birth to their last child together, flying back and forth. One day he came back home to find his ENTIRE, HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of DOLLARS worth of weed plants all missing, while he was tending to his wife and newborn child (if that’s not seriously fucked up to you, you have ZERO heart and soul). Immediately, my dad went to his brother in-law’s house and could smell the plants drying in the house despite no one being home. So he tied a rope to the wall and his truck and pulled the wall off the house in order to get his plants back.
Then he drove downtown and caught the guy driving the other way, so they stopped next to each other on either side of the road facing opposite directions, drivers windows facing each other, and started arguing of course. Argument got so heated that my dad rammed his truck into the other guy’s truck and pushed him into a telephone pole where he was pinned and couldn’t get out. Then my dad walked out to go whack the guy, but he managed to squeeze out and drive away.
IMO, this was all well-deserved. Guy wanted to be a POS and rob a loving father while he was in the hospital, and he wanted to be cool and get one over on my dad and make him look like a punk. And then when my dad came after him and handled his shit like a REAL hustler, the guy got all scared and ran to the cops. What a fucking little punk ass bitch. You wanna rob the big dogs and scrap the big dogs, but when you get bit, you run to police mommy on the porch like a little bitch. Didn’t want your truck banged? Shouldn’t have robbed a drug dealer.
Anyway, my dad switches cars downtown at a friend’s house so he doesn’t get pulled over with all that weed, but gets pulled over anyway and they arrested him for supposedly banging BIL’s truck. He bails himself out the next day and calls up BIL on the phone and says “bruh, TF do you think you doing calling the cops, you fucking punk! Come to ME if you get something to say; you like scrap, then come scrap, bruh. But no make me come look for you cause I gon beat yo ass.” And then the cops arrested him AGAIN for terroristic threatening over the phone, and he bails himself out the next day again (lost $2,000 in one week bailing himself out). One year later in 1996, after a long investigation I guess, the cops came and raided my dad’s house: he went to jail for a year, lost his marriage to his wife, and his INNOCENT wife got fired from being an aide at the elementary school even though it wasn’t her patch.
But who was the victim that was happy to see my dad get locked up and possibly tortured in jail? The only guy he ever negatively affected was his BIL, and from every story I’ve heard about him, fuck that guy. It’s just fucked up to me that my father was a happy guy people LIKED, and he grew KILLA buds that used to go for $6K per pound ($1K per pound is considered impressive today), and that whole time their were people plotting and planning his demise as if he was a disgrace or danger to the community.
There are still a few people today who seem to agree that my dad was a punk or asshole who deserved what he got, but that doesn’t match what I know about him and what I’ve heard about what happened. Our family and our good friends still know him for the carefree, joyful man he’s always been.peggyGuest
You post here a lot. You are a guy that seems messed up and has many problems coping with life. This letter with family history gives a very clear picture of why that is,and how you got to be this way. You need intense help to unpack all this stuff you have seen modeled and to learn how to live in a society full of rules and laws and norms. More help than you can get here. Please explore resources at school etc. I wish you the best.KateKeymaster
I’d say *you* were a victim. You’re unemployable because of your violent outbursts and refusal to follow norms and policies, and nothing’s ever your fault. You got that from your dad.LucidityGuest
It must have been hard not to have your father in your life. I understand the need to idolize him and blame others for taking him away from you. It’s a lot easier than acknowledging that it was his own choices that led to his incarceration and the end of his marriage.
Look, Hunter, as we become adults, we start to see our parents for who they are, people with flaws. And your dad was very flawed. Setting aside the growing and selling weed, you’ve described violence, threats, assault, road rage, and was that intent to murder mixed in there? Even your story about the hair. People do not have the right to cut the hair of a child without their parents’ permission, no matter their relation to the child.
I’m sure your dad loved and loves you, Hunter. That can be true and it can also be true that he is not someone to look up to. Just because someone provokes us does not mean we have to respond badly in turn. Your dad had choices in each situation you described, and he chose to react very badly. We can’t choose how others behave, but we can always choose our reactions.
I hope that you will be able to see that instead of emulating his choices, you should be learning from them.AngeGuest
So your dad pulled a wall off the house your sister lived in (I assume) just to teach her husband a lesson, yet he’s supposedly all about family?! Yeah right. He’s openly committing crimes all over the place, risking retaliation and prison despite having a wife and family in the firing line?! Yup, suuuuper all about his family. I can see why your mum finally left.AnonymousseGuest
Your loser dads weed plants were not worth hundreds of thousands.
You are the victim Hunter, and your poor mom. And god knows who else.
Why’d you leave his crystal meth addiction out of the story? Maybe that’s what they’re talking about when they discuss his assholery and your victimhood.AnonymousseGuest
Your mom lost her job. It was 50%. her patch. That’s what happens when you’re married to a drug mastermind like your pops.
I really wish you’d stop twisting yourself in knots trying to make your dad a good guy. He’s not.
Marijuana prices have NOT gone down since the nineties. I am actually old enough to have been buying weed all this time. Your dad, all his stories and maybe you, too- are full of shit. If you can’t see how his stupid choices have fucked you and your family, prepare to follow in his footsteps, Hunter. Seriously he’s a loser who fucked you and your mom royally. Your poor mother. The least you could do is be good and get a job and stop acting like the world owes you something.Dear WendyKeymaster
Did you have a question, Hunter?HunterParticipant
That wasn’t my mom I was talking about in the story, that was my dad’s first wife (the mother of my three older brothers). Her and my dad were together from high school and they divorced in 1998 shortly after my dad got out of jail. Fact is that my dad took all the heat legally and served the time, and she got let off with no record; the school fired her to make a statement, NOT because the kids were in legit danger, she’s a sweet lady, I’ve met her.
My mom started dating my dad shortly AFTER he got out of jail and for the first few years he was still smoking meth, yes (he claims to have smoked it in at least the early 90s, but IDK any stories about it prior to this), and when my mom moved to another island in 2000, he moved with her, but then used to fly back home every 2 weeks to go smoke ice, and she told him they’d be through if he did that again either shortly before or after I was born in June 2002. So he got a carpentry job (he’s always been a really good carpenter and mechanic), and by the time I was 4, in 2006, he qualified to be a journeyman. Far cry from who he was in the late 1990s and early 2000s.
But then shortly after we moved back to Molokai in 2008, he lost his job in 2009 after the real estate crash and couldn’t find any meaningful jobs on-island for over 2 years (other than a construction project here and there). So my mom eventually told him in 2011 that he might as well grow weed again like he did with his first wife if he can’t find a job, so he took her literally and started growing an 800-plant patch in the forest behind our yard going up the mountain, worth about $1.6 million at the time (800 plants x 1 lb per plant x $2,000 per lb). At the same time he started growing this new patch is when he relapsed on his ice addiction however, which I’ve touched upon here before. Long story short, my mom told my dad he wouldn’t be able to see me anymore if he didn’t go to rehab, so he left Molokai in February 2012 and didn’t return until April 2021, and I saw him 6 times during that interval (all off-island).
And on Molokai, weed is SUPER cheap right now, practically free. “Killa” ounces are like $120-$150, good ounces are about $100, “okay” ounces are about $80, and then you can get a cheap oz of some low, probably 5-10% garbage for as little as $40 or $50 if you know the right grower. I know multiple friends and family members I can score free bud from (but I still buy when I can cause I don’t wanna bum people all the time). I hear through the grapevine about guys giving out pounds (not ounces, pounds) for $300 these days. When my dad had his patch in the 90s, he was charging $6,000 per pound, and then his 2011 revival patch was worth about $2,000 per pound. Now an excellent pound can get you $1,000, but they can go as low as $300, like I said.
It’s because back then they had green harvest and the police used to patrol the islands in helicopters, executing weed farm raids very aggressively. Now everyone’s using the medical card to grow their legal limit and sell it on the black market, so now instead of going to the expert growers, anybody and their grandma can be a grower. And since there’s med cards now, the cops don’t really pay as much attention or bust people unless they get ratted out (which does still happen), so less people are afraid to do so, driving the supply up even further. Great time to be a stoner here.KateKeymaster
So if he was so wealthy and rolling in the money, why are you so not at all wealthy now? $1.6 million dollars huh? How do you figure that? Worth $1.6 or a lot of years in prison.
You mentioned your mom was a teacher in a different post. I know it’s hard to imagine anyone remembers you, and the bs you write, but I do. Isn’t that how you got your school job?
I’m so glad you’re feeling so proud and happy of your dad. Glad our advice is getting through to you. That’s sarcasm, in case you didn’t pick that up.
He abandoned you and didn’t see you for about 10 years. Why isn’t that the title of your story? My dad left me, too. I’m not proud of him or happy about it, though.
If you’re thinking of following in his footsteps, I wouldn’t. The market is over saturated. No one wants the shitty outdoor weed you’d grow, Hunter. Please do better with your life than he did.HGuest
I never said my mom was a teacher on here before in any post. Please link to the post where I said that.
I’ve always said that when I was a little kid she was an assistant in a dentist’s office, and nowadays she’s the manager at the condo place where we live.
And I said our neighbor was the school principal and she knew my mom as the manager of the condo place where we live and offered me a job. That’s how I got my school job. Even Kate once said “you were there out of the kindness of your mom’s friend.”