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Dear Wendy

Why do I have a soft spot for him

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  • This topic has 4 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by avatarLisforLeslie.
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  • #962736 Reply
    avatarAvi
    Guest

    Hi! So my ex and I have been broken up for a couple months now and tbh I’m really in a good place, enough to remain friends with him. He’s already in a relationship but is still trying to get back with me. He said he was single a few days ago but then posted the girl after. I told him a few days ago that he should stop trying to play with me because I’m not about to be a side piece. He blocked me btw. I’m not exactly bothered cause it’s not like we talk regularly, like I said, I’m fine with him being in a relationship. I’m trying to figure out if he still has feelings for me or he is indeed trying to play with my mind. I kind of want to hate him but I cant and i have a feeling he’s gonna unblock me too. Has anyone had a similar situation? Thanks

    #962737 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    Lots of us have been in a similar situation. An ex who has a new gf but still trying to sleep with his ex is unfortunately common. He dose NOT still have feelings for you. He’s trying to sleep with you because he likes the thrill of cheating. That’s it. He’s moved on from you, but he doesn’t want you to move on from him. He likes the attention and he likes the sex. When you were the official gf he was playing this game with some other poor sucker. Do you really want to waste more time on this guy? What future do you see with him? You’ll never trust him, nor should you. If you truly don’t want to be his side piece block him. Full no contact. Not even as “just friends” Its depressing how common this scenario is. The only surprising part is he hasn’t impregnated you and 2 other people

    #962738 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Guys love it when you’ve broken up, you move on to a “really good place,” they reach out and try to play with you and you’re wasting time “trying to figure out” what he’s doing and why. He likes having a girlfriend and having you in his back pocket. He thinks that little of you. He thinks you’ll lower yourself to still sleep with him even though he has a new girlfriend.

    Stop caring why he’s two timing his gf and trying to play with you. He’s probably trying to fuck with other women, too. Don’t waste your time on men like this. It’s not his “feelings” for you that are making him act this way- it’s his ego and his dick.

    #962740 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    This is very common, and I know women who’ve wasted YEARS of their lives in a pointless back & forth with an ex who wants to hook up. Don’t get involved in that, it never goes anywhere good.

    #962741 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    He’s trying to see if he can have his cake and eat it too (and this is not limited to guys pulling this nonsense).

    You’re not playing games and he blocked you when you told him his game isn’t going to work. Good for you and good for having a healthy sense of self-worth.

    You have a soft spot because you know that he can be a relatively decent person otherwise you wouldn’t consider staying friends but he’s just not being one to you or his girlfriend now. Probably best to keep him at arms length (or longer) and remember this when/if you start feeling nostalgic.

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