Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Why doesn’t he want anything serious with me ?

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  • #850690 Reply

    Hello guys my name is Jaz and I have a good friend named Eric and since we met there has always been something going on between us romantically/intimate. The friendship has been about 5 years long now and we met through our parents, because our parents have been friends since high school. Eric and I are currently 22 but we had our baby showers together we just don’t recall and only have pictures to look back at, we can only recall our 5 year friendship once our parents starting hanging out again! Eric and I were about to get really serious early on our friendship but I decided to go back to my ex and he got into a another relationship as well, and we remained really good friends to the point where I would help him pick out gifts for his girlfriends and Vice versa. Once his first relationship got rocky and mine had ended he started to “hit me up” during late hours and he insisted that it was only to talk and hang out but I knew otherwise I knew that he wanted to mess around and we did a couple of times but my relationship had been over and he was on a “break”. That ended and so did his relationship , but he would try to hit me up still to just “talk” and I would make it clear that I wasn’t ok with messing around and he would take the hint and lay off but after a while the same pattern continued to happen. He is now in another relationship and I’m still single but he continues to hit me up and well I went along with it through text just to see how far he would go. I wasn’t surprised he was complimenting me left and right and asking for pictures of my outfit as well as wanting to hang out but I kept teasing because I just wanted to see how far he’d go. Once I concluded that he wanted to basically cheat on his girlfriend with me I decided to let the whole bomb explode and told him off. I told him I was kidding the whole time and that he had proved to me that he didn’t see me as a close friend and just wanted to have me on the side this whole time, I continued by blocking him on all social media and telling him to leave me alone. He said he would never have gone that far with me (as in having sex) and that he knew he was in the wrong but that he loved me and that my friendship meant a lot to him. I kept telling him to leave me alone and that I didn’t want the friendship anymore. I’m heartbroken because I love him and I wish he would want to have a relationship with me but he doesn’t seem to feel the same way. We haven’t spoken for about a week since the argument, but I’d just like to know how there could be friendship, love and attraction but he still won’t pursue anything serious with me instead of other girls ? I’d really like to know what my situation looks like from a outside perspective, thanks for your time.

    #850697 Reply

    Looks like he likes the attention and messing around with you with no strings attached. If he was really into you, he would have made a move for something more serious. Sounds like you kind of like the drama of the back and forth flirting with this guy, otherwise you would have dropped it a long time ago. The dude is a cheater. Enough reason to stop pursing him and move on with your life for something better.

    #850714 Reply

    why don’t you just ask him if he wants to have a down right real relationship with you? none of this side piece crap he’s trying, and can guarantee you that he would have cheated on his GF, also if he would do that to his GF? he could no doubt do that to you as well.

    #850718 Reply

    You said you were about to get really serious, and then you went back to your ex. Right? I mean..maybe that could be part of the reason he hasn’t tried. You turned him down before.

    You are playing and flirting with him just as much as he is, right? I don’t really think you know for sure what he’d do, saying it or texting that he’d cheat is still a fantasy, right? I think you’re holding him to some weird double standard. If you want to get serious ask him why he does this.

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