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Dear Wendy

Women on date App creepy or weird

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  • #1095135 Reply
    Adam
    Guest

    At times they are scams. Other times I’m not sure if they are just a person with a mental disorder. I met an autistic lady that doesn’t text me much since we met on App. She seems to not want to talk. The other day it seemed like she wanted to. Their profile says they want non monogamous and are seeing someone. Yet they tell me they aren’t dating. At times not sure if its just a dude posing as a women or what. The online dating has really changed for the worst.

    #1095198 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yeah, I think it has gotten a lot worse since I was online dating 10 years ago! I do think there are plenty of scammers on there, particularly targeting men, but lonely people in general.

    I’m not sure what advice to give other than look carefully at their profile to make sure they have multiple pics of the same person in different settings and poses, looking natural (as opposed to, like, professional headshots or model pics which could be stolen). Their profile should be filled out with normal-sounding info about the person, free of red flags. If you’re looking for a relationship, don’t message people that say they’re non-monogamous or married or whatever. They’re time-wasters. If you start talking to someone and they’re saying things that are way off from their profile, immediately stop talking to them and just move on. There ARE real people like you on there looking to date, so maybe you need to be smarter and quicker at weeding out the garbage.

    #1095202 Reply
    Copa
    Participant

    One of my boyfriend’s single friends, who is early 40s, also says he sees a lot of obvious scam profiles. I never came across them when I was on the online dating scene, but I do believe they’re out there. I’d heard from a friend who dated online pre- and post-apps and said the apps made the online dating scene worse, and I’d believe they’ve gotten even worse still.

    I’m not sure what apps you’re on but I know some (like Bumble) have features to help verify identities. If you’re not already, I’d stick to the apps that you know are reputable. Other than that, if you get weird vibes from anyone, stop talking to them. Keep swiping/looking. I hated the online dating scene but it’s how I met my boyfriend of the past several years and I’d had luck online in 2012 too. Online dating does work.

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