Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Would it be weird?

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  • This topic has 8 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 months ago by avatarLeon.
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  • #850157 Reply

    So I’m friends with this guy that I really like who has just recently confessed his feelings for me. We’ve been friends for a few months now (3 or 4) and have hung out quite a bit.

    He has the most freaking adorable son who just had his 4th birthday. I’ve met the kid a couple of times but haven’t gotten the chance to really know him yet.

    I really would like to give the kid a gift for his birthday but I don’t know if that would be weird where his dad and I are still fairly new friends/unknown relationship status. Would that be weird to give his kid a birthday present?

    #850158 Reply

    Your best bet is to maybe run this by the father? Otherwise you risk potentially coming across as too presumptuous.

    Also consider how young your relationship is (and you have said yourself it’s not even a confirmed relationship at the moment). Is it not too soon to be introduced into this childs life? (Speaking from personal experience on that one).

    Your heart is in the right place – just be sensible about it x

    #850159 Reply

    Yeah, I mean, his birthday has already passed and you don’t really know him. It’s not necessary. I think if you knew the kid well enough to have picked out something inexpensive that you knew he’d love, it’s not necessarily weird, but otherwise I’d just leave it.

    #850163 Reply

    I think that is kind of weird. I think if you examine your desire to get a gift, you’ll find it’s more about you and the dude then it is for the son.

    Maybe I’m being critical, but I don’t think it’s appropriate to get him a gift.

    #850164 Reply

    If you were only friends, I think that it would be fine. If you had been dating for a while, I think that it would be fine. As someone who just started dating him, I’d hold off.

    #850168 Reply

    He’s four – odds are he already got an obnoxious amount of presents, one more on the pile isn’t going to go noticed or unnoticed. It’s neither an overstep nor is it necessary. It’s a nice thought, but at this point doesn’t serve much purpose, other than an excuse to contact this guy. When christmas rolls around ask the dad what to do.

    #850198 Reply

    It might be weird and it might not, but I think it’s sort of unnecessary and not worth the risk that it is weird. If you guys end up seeing each other long-term, there will be other birthdays.

    #850244 Reply

    Did you get invited to the birthday party? I’m guessing no, since his birthday passed and you hadn’t given him a gift already. So it’s a no from me dog. If he wanted you that involved in his kids life right now, he would have invited you to the birthday party.

    #850335 Reply

    Don’t give anything. At this point of your relationship is not convenient to do this. I mean. You even barely know his father. I would rather spend that money on a date with him.

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