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  • Melissa
    January 26, 2023 at 2:11 pm #1118425

    As a young adult, what should I be focusing on to be successful as an adult? What habits should I put in place when I am younger?

    January 26, 2023 at 5:20 pm #1118426

    Hi Melissa. Work hard and give something your all…even if it is “only” a part-time.minimum wage/fast food job. Take pride in being helpful and kind.
    Save some of your money. Stay out of credit card debt. Don’t pick a college or uni course/degree just because it is what your parents want you to take/be.
    If you are sexually active, always use birth control. Don’t get so drunk you place yourself in dicey/dangerous situations.

    You sound smart and thoughtful. Planning to succeed is always good!

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    January 27, 2023 at 8:34 am #1118430

    Two posts that should be helpful:

    What Advice Would You Give Yourself Ten Years Ago?

    What Advice Would You Give Your 18-Year-old Self (In Only Three Words)?

    I would also add: define what “success” means to you. Financially comfortable? Healthy and happy? A few great, meaningful friendships? A solid romantic relationship and family? Contributing to your community in a meaningful way? Having lot of power and prestige?

    Success means different things for different people, and defining it for yourself now at a young age, will help you – and those living you advice – figure out the best habits and practices to put into place now.

    January 27, 2023 at 9:15 am #1118432

    Love both Wendy’s advice and Peggy’s!

    Success definitely looked different to my grandpa (money/power) than to my dad (family/comfortable).

    I’d add setting boundaries. Some people are naturally good at this. Others aren’t. If you’re one who is not, work on it now! It’ll help with all of your relationships – work, family, friends, strangers.

    RE: Money – I wish I would have been better with savings and CC debt in my younger years. If I could go back and do anything over, it would be related to my finances and developing better saving/spending habits. My husband is great w/ money and he’s allowed me to catch up. I don’t know where I’d be without him. Probably working until I’m 90 or dead, whichever came first.

    January 27, 2023 at 9:26 am #1118434

    Trust your gut feelings! Great advice already. I wish I knew about money before I became an adult. I was terrible with it for a good long time.

    I would say focus on what you believe you want and need for your happy life.

    I would add- don’t give a shitty job your “all.” Or really, any job. It’s just a job. Know when up to conserve your energy and leave and walk away. Employers and corporations want to bleed you dry of your labor. Maybe it could be phrased a nicer way, but you are not that important to your company. Don’t give them your all.

    Your self and your idea of what a happy life is- give that your all.

    I would also encourage to find and start using habits and discipline to help keep you and your body happy. Exercise, diet, friends, hobbies, a full life.

    Good luck and great question!

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    January 27, 2023 at 9:37 am #1118436

    Agree with Anonymousse re. giving a job your all. Always save energy for yourself. A job is a means to an end. It’s great if you love it and you’re passionate about it, I guess, but it’s still just a job and not going to love you back. Your employers are never going to love you like family. Always keep boundaries at work, protect your energy, and give the labor you are paid to give and not more.

    January 27, 2023 at 9:58 am #1118438

    Re giving a job”your all”,I mean to try your best and make effort,even at early jobs you may have. Not that you should allow your job to be your whole life or to stay where you are treated poorly. Life/work balance is important. This idea of giving ‘your all” may stem from my age. (60s)
    Back in “the day” young people could “work their way up from bag person to grocery store manager for example. I just never understood why someone who had to be at a job would give a lackluster effet. I tink you get out of something what you put into it,in most cases anyway. You can take pride in doing your best.

    January 27, 2023 at 10:00 am #1118439

    I also agree with Anonymousse on the job front. Companies don’t truly care about you. They care about the bottom line.

    I mean, if you enjoy your job and need to put in a little extra work for a promotion, that’s one thing. Don’t make it your life though, unless, as Wendy mentioned, that’s your big “success” factor. Work/life balance is important!

    PS: I hate the term quiet quitting. It’s more like, I’m setting up boundaries and will not work 60-hour weeks because I don’t get paid for 60-hour weeks. If you want more out of me, pay me OT. You don’t. So sorry. However, I do occasionally work over my 40 depending on the deliverable. I don’t make it a habit. And I make sure my team doesn’t make it a habit.

    January 27, 2023 at 2:39 pm #1118446

    Don’t compare yourself to others, as there will always be someone who is doing better than you. If you don’t get the job you want or the opportunities you think you deserve, accept it and be adaptable. Usually something better comes along.

    Financially, try and save a bit of all money you receive whether it’s from work or a gift. Don’t put yourself into debt because other people don’t have their shit together. If you lend anyone money, don’t expect to see it ever again.

    Don’t vote for anyone who will take away your reproductive rights!

    As for success it really does depend on your definition, but being grateful for what you achieve and have already will make you happier in the long run.

    January 28, 2023 at 1:10 pm #1118460

    Vote always and put in the time to be sure of who you want to vote for. Identify easy to do things alone which always make you happy (reading, walking in nature, swimming, napping listening to music, whatever, and try to make space for them.So when life gets tough you can fall back on them. Try to find work which you feel is meaningful (and that can be at the lowest level, if you feel you are being of benefit, and make enough to live to your satisfaction, even if your work does not have perceived “status,” you are doing a great job).

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    January 30, 2023 at 1:12 pm #1118484

    Some great advice! I’d add:

    Remember the prescribed path is not for everyone and may not be what makes you happy. You do not need to go to the most elite college, have the fanciest job title, or earn the biggest pay check. Your social life never needs to be Instagrammable. You never need to get married or have kids.

    Say yes to things that are outside of your comfort zone as often as you can. In all areas of life. I’ve seen so much self growth and learned so much about myself from doing those things.

    To the financial advice of other commenters, I’d also add that learning to invest your money is a great skill to have.

    If you’re following anyone online who makes you feel bad about yourself by comparison (could be a friend, could be an influencer), mute, unfollow, and block as appropriate.

    I wish I’d developed healthy habits around food and exercise at a younger age — e.g., learning to cook balanced and satisfying meals, moving my body in ways that feel good because my meatsuit is my soul’s home.

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