It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “A Forty-Something Friend” who had close friends navigating big challenges in their lives, like divorces and a death of a spouse. She asked: “Do you have any ideas for showing up for our friends who are struggling with grief and loss in their 40s as they are also raising kids and doing their best to keep this grief and loss from having a long-term negative effect on their children?” Her update below.
Here are some of the things I’ve been doing. I make sure and text my friends regularly. Even just to say “you’re on my mind today”. Sometimes they get back with me and sometimes they don’t. But, they have said that they really appreciate knowing that I’m thinking of them regularly. I sent a card for Valentine’s Day to the woman whose husband died a couple of months before. I also asked her if I could do her laundry; she let me take the kid’s clothes and towels to a laundromat. We are also planning a women and kids camping trip to our local National Park this summer. We have sites that are back to back and think it will be a fun trip. I hope things with Corona Virus calm down by then and we are able to go.
Thanks for taking the time to write such an eloquent response to my letter. I’ve been reading your blog since you started it and I have always appreciated the straightforward advice. Through the years, I’ve found something applicable to every part of my life from dating, marriage, motherhood, work, friendships, love, and grief. Thank you for sharing some tools to navigate this season of life when grief becomes more common. I appreciate you and this blog!
You sound like a wonderful friend, and I appreciate your kind words to me, too. I’m so glad you’ve found meaning in anything I’ve shared here over the years and I thank you for your continued support. Here’s to summer plans sticking!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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