Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Update: “Bittersweet” Responds

FYI: The forums are currently down until further notice due to technical issues.

updatesIt’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Bittersweet” who wrote in a couple weeks ago about her disappointment in the failure of her Catholic friend, as well as of her brother’s family (who are also not Jewish), to acknowledge Jewish holidays to her. “Once in a blue moon I might receive a Chanukah card,” she wrote. “Holidays are bittersweet.” Her update below.

I’ve started to cultivate a friendship with a woman I met through the synagogue. She is also married to a non-Jew. She totally understands and definitely can relate to the emotions I feel during the holidays. Having her to talk to has helped.

I’ve decided that I won’t be inviting my in-laws over for latkes during Hanukkah. L-o-n-g story! But, I may invite my Christian neighbors and friends.

I have a very dear friend who I will see on or about Christmas day. She lives in Nevada and we haven’t seen each other in years. We met in college, back in the 70s, and we have remained close and in touch all these years. Because I know that we’ll be together, I’m not dreading the holiday season this year. I have something to look forward to.

 
Good! It’s always helpful to have something to look forward to. And it’s great you’re cultivating a friendship with a woman from the synagogue. Maybe invite her over for Hanukkah latkes!
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If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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6 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Peggy November 7, 2019, 4:29 pm

    Yeah-forums are back!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy November 7, 2019, 4:35 pm

      A developer is currently working on it, so they may disappear temporarily as he continues to iron out some wrinkles, but yes: they’re back!

      Reply Link
  • bittergaymark

    Bittergaymark November 8, 2019, 1:01 pm

    Yeah… somehow I think one might have a much better time celebrating Jewish holidays with people that are actually — wait for it — Jewish!

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    • avatar

      SpaceySteph November 8, 2019, 3:01 pm

      Eh, most of my friends are not Jewish. Its just the reality of my area (not a lot of jews) and social circle. I am a synagogue member, but there aren’t many people in my age group/life-stage.
      But my friends are fun and we still throw a heck of a Hanukkah party even if there are only 3 jews in attendance. Turns out fried food is universal.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        ktfran November 9, 2019, 8:33 am

        There’s so few Jewish people in my hometown that Chinese restaurants are all closed on Christmas. I know because we didn’t transition properly one year once cousins were no longer kids and my little sis had in-laws. We called everywhere.

        Anyway, my BIL is Jewish. We’re Catholic. I’ve truly enjoyed learning about his religious traditions. This year, I went over for Rosh Hashanah. People generally enjoy others company and celebrations and feasts.

        Link
      • avatar

        ktfran November 9, 2019, 8:35 am

        Also my coworker makes it a point to invite non-Jewish friends to her family’s feasts.

        Link

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