It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Co-Parenting Dilemma” whose son’s biological dad was suddenly popping into their lives after years of near silence. She wrote: ” at 27 years old — had gotten his 17-year-old girlfriend pregnant, he finally wanted to father our child six years after he was born. Naturally, I wasn’t thrilled since he wouldn’t hold a job or put down the booze before.” Her biggest worry was that the bio dad wanted their son to sleep over at his place, a trailer he shares with “five or six other adults, a newborn, and two dogs,” an arrangement she didn’t feel comfortable with. Her update below:
PS: He started dating her when she was 16, crashing with her dad initially because they were friends, and he kept their relationship hush-hush until she was 17, which is when the pregnancy occurred. She turned 18 a couple months before the child was born. The members of the house are the girl, her father who allowed the relationship, my ex, the girl’s adult brother, and some 18-year-old kid they’re friends with. Her oldest brother is currently in prison for…..wait for it…..molesting one of her old boyfriends. All under the same roof of the father she’s still living with. The family is all a little dull, and at the end of the day, I know in my heart he knocked her up as his welfare food ticket, just like he was raised and just like he tried to make me do. I opted to work, though. I’ve worked my ass off to support my child.
Sorry for the novel, y’all. I appreciate all the feedback and advice, and here’s my update.
PPS. No, he doesn’t even have a booster. He had to borrow one from me before.
Thank you for the update! Keep taking the high road, which seems to be serving you and your son. It sounds like he — and you! — are doing really well. Best wishes to you for continued happiness, health, and success.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at email@example.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.