It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Come and Knock on My Door,” the 39-year-old woman who was having a flirty thing with her next-door neighbor – usually across their shared backyard fence, but sometimes at one of their apartments, and even resulting in some kisses. And then this: “Today I was visiting some friends and when I came home at 8 p.m., whose car do I see parked outside??? His ex-girlfriend’s!!! So, I realized he is not really into me, or he’s a narcissist, or he takes advantage of the fact that I confessed feeling attracted to him! I now understand I have to keep my distance from him, but how do you that with your next-door neighbor? And should I tell him I need to keep distance from him? Should I tell him we should no longer share more time together? For the sake of my well-being, and the sake of his fractured relationship with his (ex)girlfriend?” Her update, below.
I was going through some dark moments because I’ll be 40 in less than a year, my last serious relationship, which ended three years ago, was toxic, and people from work say that I don’t give men a chance when the truth is that not a single soul approaches me and shows interest in me.
So, yeah! That’s your update! Another spinster who already owns two cats and that’s all I see in my future.
If not a single soul approaches, it could be because you’re intimidating or you send out vibes that you don’t want to be bothered. If there are men you’re interested in, you should show interest in them, maybe ask them out. You could also tell these people from work that you’re interested in dating someone and if they know anyone who’d be a good match for you, you’d love to meet them. Let people know you’re available, cultivate an air of availability and interest, turn your light on, and quit thinking of 40 as some sort of death sentence. There are lots of benefits that come from being a woman in her forties!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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