It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Deprived Newlywed” (LW2) who wrote in a couple weeks ago seeking advice on how to deal with her sexual frustration in her brand new marriage. Her update below:
Hope you’re well – I love your work!
Glad things are better and I hope you do find a good therapist soon. I also hope that if you read your letter back, you can see why a reader might think staying in this marriage – even/especially a brand new one – might not be for the best. I found his calling you a slut (for wanting sex with your new husband!), along with some of the other descriptions of his treatment toward you very disturbing. I responded how I’d want to respond to a close friend telling me these things, but only the people in a relationship know what is really going on, and you know your husband’s heart. I hope the name-calling and the gaslighting was an anomaly and your communication smooths out. I still would put the baby-making on hold until you feel super stable in your marriage though.
UPDATE: The LW’s husband has commented here.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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