Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Update: “Scared He’ll Be a Schlub” Responds

updatesIt’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Scared He’ll Be a Schlub” whose boyfriend didn’t like the paisley shirt she bought for him to wear to her friend’s “electro-hippy psychedelic chic” wedding. They proceeded to have big blow-out arguments “that,” she wrote, “in his mind, are all my fault because I bought the offending shirt.” She continued:

“It’s not even about the shirt anymore, but rather about underlying themes in our relationship that I believe are navigable over the long-term. The short-term problem is the rapidly approaching wedding and the fact that he’s running out of time to find an outfit. I give it an 80% chance that he misses the window and a 100% probability that if he attends this wedding looking like a schlub, I will be so pissed off that not only will the shit again hit the fan, but also it will ricochet off it and rain fecal destruction upon our partnership. Can we survive it? Sure, maybe, but maybe not because I feel that the shirt is symbolic of our mutual stubbornness, and the odds ratio I’ve given him is emblematic of my simmering resentment that he’s pinning the blame squarely on me for “The Shirt That Launched a Thousand Ships and Broke the Camel’s Back.” What should I do?”

I reached out to her recently and asked whether he ever found something to wear to the wedding and how they were doing today. Her update:

Yes, yes, he did find something to wear, and that is a story unto itself. I can do an update: We are still together… Should I include the part where I took myself to Iceland for my birthday, slept with someone else – we are semi-open – returned with the intention of breaking up permanently, and then went to Arizona for a San Pedro journey where I was certain that the mescaline would tell me to END IT but instead got the message that my boyfriend is an idiot, and will always be an idiot, but that fundamentally he is good for me and that I, too, am an idiot? Kidding, that would be too long, but you get the idea.

I get the idea and I want to hear more.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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7 comments… add one
  • Bittergaymark November 30, 2021, 10:24 am

    Talk about a bad trip. ?

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  • Moneypenny November 30, 2021, 1:16 pm

    No, no, OP, we do need a longer update! Please share. 😉

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  • Kate November 30, 2021, 2:02 pm

    Yes pls.

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  • Peggy November 30, 2021, 2:20 pm

    Yes, unsatisfied, lol. not sure how much of the update was a joke? More questions than answers arising from this for me,anyway!

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  • anonymousse November 30, 2021, 2:24 pm

    Oh boy.

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  • Ange November 30, 2021, 5:36 pm

    Sounds healthy! Tell me more.

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  • Sally E Stryker December 1, 2021, 3:56 pm

    I think woman seems like a complete PIA. I mean, just a terrible person. He should break up with her. Let her travel around on her vision quests and going to hippy weddings wearing whatever she needs to. But, just yuck.

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